Random Ramblings

Had a busy morning here.  There was plenty of poking and prodding on all sorts of my lady parts by 11am, and I feel as if I've been violated enough for one day.  I made it to school to rescue my sub by 11:30.  Around 3:30 (after my kids were gone), I started having hellfire cramps and headed home to the heating pad.  Luckily DH went to Albertson's to get "cheap chicken" (seriously - that's what they call their chicken dinner), so we were easily fed.  He's now cranking out a major class project that is due on Wednesday & I'm in bed with my heating pad, laptop, cell phone, home phone, one dog, one cat, and a remote.  Lotsa heat going on 'round here!  Anyway, enough rambling - on to my appointment.

Nurse J got the radiology group to squeeze me in for a mammogram this morning, so I got my b/w done, piac for whatever test they need it for . . . then ran downstairs to fill out paperwork, wipe off deodorant & get a mammogram . . . then back upstairs for u/s and MET.  The mock transfer went fine.  Dr. Super told me there was some resistance from the catheter in passing the cervix, but I didn't feel it.  No cysts were found during the u/s, but Dr. Super found another damn fibroid that he believes is outside of the uterine cavity. It better be or my chances of maintaining a normal pregnancy are shot closer to hell than usual.  I have no idea if I have any follicular development at this point.  In fact, I don't even know if I should or not.  Clueless much?  I chatted with Nurse Helpful before I left and made my next appointment.  It will be my first monitoring appointment, set for 11:30.  I will race from school (at least 20 mins from Dr. S' office) at 11:00, do my appointment, and race back to school in time to pick up my class from lunch at 1:00.  It will be a race.  The monitoring appointment is when more b/w is done to test my E2 levels and Dr. S will do another u/s (aka "follie check") to see how my ovaries have responded to the Gonal-F (stim meds).  I should have lots of fat follicles ready to have eggs vacuumed from them during the ER.

That brings on a whole new set of fears.  When Dr. S finished my u/s and MET today, he said that he'll see me again when it's time to see how many eggs we will retrieve.  I said, "Great!" and asked if I just need to watch my fluid retention and weight gain in the case of OHSS.  Dr. S responded, "I don't think you will have problems with over stimulation.  My main concern is that you won't respond at all."  UGH.  It is a well-known fact with anyone familiar with my protocol that I will be on the highest amount of stimulation medication possible (twice as much as the most highly medicated women) and on tons of estrogen along the way.  If we get cancelled because my body is non-responsive to the meds, then I guess we will be done.  I don't even want to think about it right now, but I also want to be real.  Why can't this just be easy?

I'm still bleeding some. Still exhausted. Weird as hell dreams. Looking forward to the break ahead.
Next up: Acupuncture and E2V (estrogen) IM injection tomorrow & Friday, then stims + EV2 supps begin next week. Loads of Thanksgiving & hormonal fun ahead!