In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I thought I should share a recipe with you all. It's not really a "recipe" though. It's really just how DH and I randomly made a turkey one year that was, according to my mother, "the best I've ever tasted in my life." Since that day, The Ramblers are the turkey makers and turkey bringers for Thanksgiving and Christmas every year. As a disclaimer, I don't touch raw meat unless I absolutely have to make burgers or meat loaf. Raw poultry makes me extremely nervous. So, I prepare everything for the bird and DH touches it. I'd hate for him to miss out on an opportunity to help with all of the cooking. :)
Note: No husbands or dogs were injured in the prepping of the bird. |
This prep can be done a day or two before you have to actually cook your Thanksgiving turkey. However, once you begin, there is an ABSOLUTE MUST before you start cooking . . .
Pour yourself a glass of wine. Keep the bottle on the counter because (1) you know you're going to want more and (2) because I'm not drinking while stimming and someone has to have some fun around here!
- Wash off your bird. If it is so fresh that it has feathers, get thyself to the local WaMartz for a frozen guy. (thaw it out in cold water for . . . forever . . . til it's thawed)
- Using your food processor (or masher if you don't have a processor), dump in the following: a couple of sticks of butter, some leaves stripped off a couple of rosemary stalks, some fresh ground black pepper (NO SALT - dries the bird), and a couple of fresh garlic gloves
- Kick your food processor into high gear and slowly stream in a little bit of olive oil. Scrape the sides as needed and make it do its thing until you have a smooth consistency (not runny - ew).
- Underneath and inside the hollowed out bird DH prepped for you, throw in chopped celery stalks, large chunks of onion (I usually chop them into fourths), and some random garlic cloves. (Have you refilled your wine glass already? Go ahead honey, it's 5:00 somewhere in the world!)
ForceBribeMakeBarterThreatenBegAsk your DH toget his ass off the couchback off from that damn computerdo something in the kitchen besides watch me kill myself herelift the skin of the bird up and SLATHER it with the butter compote you made.Give him a kissTell him what a big man he isOffer him sex laterThank him by turning on the water at the sink and squirting some soap in his greasy hands. Send his lame ass back to whatever he was doing and pour a can of broth or stock into the bottom of your roasting pan. (Get some more wine because the whine you just heard from DH having to do something to help with this monsterass dinner you're making didn't do the trick for ya.)- Cover that bird up with some foil. Just tent the pan by crimping foil along pan edges but allow some space somewhere for steam to escape. You don't want steamed turkey for dinner. Follow the cooking directions on the package. If you get stuck, go to http://www.butterball.com/. Please don't ask me because you'll be drunk by now & I don't like drunk people unless I'm drunk too.
- Baste the bird with the squirty thing every now & then (at least each hour after the first couple of hours. Kick back and enjoy some wine while your bird roasts itself in the oven
- Remove foil for the last hour or so or until the outside of the bird is nicely browned (not black).
- Let it rest for a bit before carving, so the juices redistribute throughout the meat. Enjoy your dinner with a nice glass of wine. Yes, you'll have to open another bottle since your lit up ass already finished off the first one!
Help! I'm working in the kitchen!! |
Oh yeah, DHs are good for carving too! |
And before you get too excited, please note that these photos are from Thanksgivings past. DH will still help with the bird because he knows there will be no turkey if he doesn't.
I hope you all have a blessed Thanksgiving Day. If you aren't in the States, make yourself a special day because you can and you deserve it. I appreciate the love and support that you all have provided me through this crazy ride of loss and infertility. It's my wish and prayer that I can bring you all some wonderful Christmas news.
5 comments:
That's my prayer too!!! Xo
HA!! I love all the strikethrough's in #5!! Hahahahaha :)
Here's praying we're both knocked up by Christmas :)
Happy Thanksgiving! I'm definitely going to try this when I make the turkey in the morning. I have the same prayer for you!
While you Texans are in pineapple shirts and shorts, us Pennsylvanians are bundled up in sweaters and wool coats. LOL.
I'm hoping for the same Christmas news for you too! In the meantime, even though we are in Japan, I'm still cooking a Thanksgiving dinner for our little family. I'm just cooking a turkey breast though, not a whole bird, so I'll save your recipe for another year. It's just the 3 of us, and 1 of the 3 doesn't eat a whole lot still :) so no need for a whole turkey to suffer on our behalf- haha!
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