#1 - My mom and I left the doctor's office. Tears were falling, and I just wanted the hell out of there. Although she has never experienced what I have with infertility, she has always known my dreams and I was thankful to have my mom with me. We got to the parking garage, and that's when it happened. Before even getting into the car, she grabbed me into a big hug. I broke down sobbing. I'm talking bawling out loud in front of the world, and I didn't even care. "This is not the end of your story," I heard, and that is what I want to believe.
#2 - A week or so later, I met my best friend for lunch. Our friendship has been strained (to say the least) because of my need to isolate myself during IF. While our 30 year friendship is not nearly what it was, we are slowly working hard to rebuild it. She doesn't read this blog (I don't think), so she did not know about our whirlwind attempt at IVF. When I told her what we had been through and what had been taken from us, she teared up a bit, shook her head, and said, "That sucks. There is nothing else I can say." What a true statement that is.
#3 - Fast forward a couple of more weeks to Christmas. My Dad "J" (who is actually my stepdad that also raised me from age 2) was aware that we'd hopefully know by the holidays if our IVF resulted in a pregnancy. Because I didn't have the courage to call and tell him that it had not, he asked me about it Christmas Day. "Hey! I've gotten emails from you, but nothing hearing what I want to hear!" I just dropped my head a bit, teared up a little, and said, "Well . . . it . . . it didn't work." At that point, my often undemonstrative Dad hugged me and told me it would be okay no matter what. He looked at me and said, "I always wanted a daughter, and I got one!" As did I get a second Daddy.
While these words can't fix anything that is broken (not even my heart), they stay in my mind and heart, and they do help. They also stay locked in my mind reminding me what I do have - people who love me.
8 comments:
Love this post :) Reminds me of certain things people have said to me that just resonate in my heart...hugs to you...
This brought tears to my eyes. ((hugs))
You have people who love you, and a God who loves you too, unconditionally. I love what your mom said, "This is not the end of your story." That is so sweet, and so very true!
You are lucky lucky to have such wonderful people in your life. Hugs <3
Choking up over here. I am so glad that you have people in your life to love on you and say the right thing when many people know how to always say the wrong thing.
I love your mom's comment. And I do definitely believe she hit the nail on the head. Love you!
There are few good things to say when people you love are hurting no matter how bad you want to comfort them. IF just sucks a$$.
You have LOTSA people who love you! I'm so glad the people closest to you in your life know how to make you feel better.
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