Busy Day!

I spent most of the day preparing for our little lady.  Started with a doctor's appointment to get rid of this nasty cough/bronchial infection and also wound up getting a tetanus + pertussis shot upon the doc's recommendation.  Afterwards, I headed to the grocery store to pick up some food and came home with diapers, wipes, hangers, and bath stuff.  Then I got home, unloaded groceries, grabbed a bite to eat, and Mr. Rambler and I headed to the baby store.

If you've ever been to a baby store on Saturday, then you owe me a drink for not warning me ahead of time.  It was one crazyass place.  DH said, "I don't crave drinks, but I am now." and "They really need scotch at the end of every aisle."  Of course, he found a couple of things he thought we should register for, so we added them.  We also picked our glider/rocker and the fabric for it.  We finally bought baby's PNP w/ bassinet, some hair bows, a boppy cover, a going home outfit (so cute!), and a few other things.  Instead of going home so I could take my meds and nest, I went for a nail appointment.

Not long after I got home,  my bff since 8th grade came by and brought our travel system!  It was such a generous gift & I'm so excited about it.  Our evening ended with dinner.

My order from Carter's arrived so our baby doesn't have to go nekkid.  When we got home from dinner, I assembled our stroller, car seat, & PNP, washed my first load of baby stuff, folded it all, washed bottles, packed our diaper back, and got ready for bed.

Tomorrow I'll go through the five boxes of clothes from a friend and the two boxes of clothes from my sisters. My car has a date at the car spa, the dogs MUST be bathed, install the carseat base, go by the fire dept to have it checked, and take my dad to dinner for his bday.  I also need to write lesson plans for next week and the weeks that follow.

Still waiting to hear from J and meet our dream girl.  I'm really excited now that we're ready!

10 Things to Never Say to Your Childless Friends

A friend of mine shared the article linked below on FB.  It's a great article to remember and share with others.  Whether a friend is childless by choice or by "force" they don't need to be questioned, reassured, or bullied about it.  Although most people have good intentions, questions aren't always taken that way by those of us on the receiving end.  Thanks for the article, Anna Banana Bread.  I know you're always checking up on us here and cheering us along the way!  :)

Be sure to click the link for the full article.  I've only shared their list.

From Glo:  10 Things Never to Say to Your Childless Friends

1.  So when are you guys going to get started? 
2. You'll understand when you're a mom. 
3. Just relax.  You'll get pregnant in no time. 
4. It must be nice to have time to read a book/go to the movies/have a romantic dinner. 
5. I didn't invite you because there will be kids at the party. 
6. Have you tried different sex positions/diets/doctors/wearing looser underwear? 
7. Is your husband OK with you not wanting kids? 
8. Your dog is your baby. 
9. You'll change your mind about having kids in a few years. 
10. Since you don't have kids, you can afford a new car/remodeling project/vacation.


And since this is MY blog, I'm adding one more:


11.  Have you heard anything about a baby?  Dude . . . you'll know when we do!!!!!

Friends

In the past five years, I have made many online and IRL friends through online forums while planning our wedding, dealing with RPL, and battling IF.  Many of you are reading this right now and we have never met before.  However, I've made many wonderful, new friends in the past handful of years.

One of my newest friends is Jenn.  I met her through kimarino, who I met online years ago during RPL and IF.  While I've never met kimarino IRL, Jenn recently moved to Texas and we've had the chance to meet and develop a friendship. The first time we met, it was for a drug deal.  :)  Thankfully, I was able to give Jenn the leftover meds that my crusty eggs and bum ute wouldn't ever need again.   I hated for them to go to waste and was glad I found someone who needed them.

Usually when I meet complete strangers, I'm a bit nervous beforehand.  However, I was so excited to meet Jenn and we sat and ate and drank and chatted like old friends.  It was awesome.  We are so much alike - for those of you that know me personally, no comments please.  :)  As I walked in to the restaurant, I was greeted by my new friend bearing a bag full of this for me:

Isn't it awesome???  Our baby has a toy, a sleep sack (so cute!), some diapers, and wipies now!  Other than an outfit our friends gave us when we first found out we were pregnant, this is the first baby-related gift I've been given that didn't make me cry.  I can't begin to tell you how exciting it was!  So not only does our baby have some cool stuff now, but I have made a wonderful friend which is even better.  Love you Jenn!

Prayers Needed

Your prayers are needed for the daughter of a fellow infertile. I "met" Lindsey on an online infertility forum a couple of years ago when becoming a family was simply a dream for both of us. The dream that Lindsey and her husband, Alex, had finally came true with the birth of their pretty daughter Kate a little over nine months ago.

Precious little Kate was diagnosed on Monday with Congenital Amegakaryocytic Thrombocytopenia, a failure in the genetic makeup of her bone marrow.  She is going to require a complete bone marrow transplant ASAP. This would undoubtedly shatter any parents to the core, but Lindsey & Alex are prepared for battle to help their daughter.

Infertility sucks.  For many, the pain is eased into joy with the birth of a child.  But to overcome IF and then find yourself in yet another battle - one that involves the life of your child? That's beyond unfair.

More information and details will be coming on Lindsey & Alex's blog, but you can begin by including Kate in your fervent prayers. Share her story with you family, friends, and church groups. Ask them to pray. Let us blanket this family in prayer for as long as they need it. You and others you know can register with the National Marrow Donor Program. Help however you feel led, but let's all do something.

Include this button on your blog, and ask your readers to pray.

To include this linkable pic on your blog or website, simply paste this code  into the HTML of your site and replace the red asterisks with < and > for the opening and closing asterisks.

*a href="http://alexandlindsey.blogspot.com" target="_blank"*  *img alt="We're Finally Three" src="http://bit.ly/mUH1l4"/*

For WiseGuy and Lola

Kristin over at The Fertile Infertile has a wonderful and beautiful idea on what we can collectively do for our bloggy friend, WiseGuy, as she begins to grieve the loss of her newborn Lola.  It's a little thing that each of us can do which would mean something huge for someone else.  Please either click on the link to Kristin's blog and contact her, or email me (kekis26 at gmail dot com) and I will get you the information.  We need to move fast on this to get in done and to WiseGuy when she needs it most, so contact either of us asap!  Thanks for the continued prayers.

Comforting Words

In the aftermath of our dreams of conceiving through IVF being squashed, there are three people who said just the right things.

#1 - My mom and I left the doctor's office.  Tears were falling, and I just wanted the hell out of there.  Although she has never experienced what I have with infertility, she has always known my dreams and I was thankful to have my mom with me.  We got to the parking garage, and that's when it happened.  Before even getting into the car, she grabbed me into a big hug.  I broke down sobbing. I'm talking bawling out loud in front of the world, and I didn't even care.  "This is not the end of your story," I heard, and that is what I want to believe.

#2 - A week or so later, I met my best friend for lunch.  Our friendship has been strained (to say the least) because of my need to isolate myself during IF.  While our 30 year friendship is not nearly what it was, we are slowly working hard to rebuild it.  She doesn't read this blog (I don't think), so she did not know about our whirlwind attempt at IVF.  When I told her what we had been through and what had been taken from us, she teared up a bit, shook her head, and said, "That sucks.  There is nothing else I can say."  What a true statement that is.

#3 - Fast forward a couple of more weeks to Christmas.  My Dad "J" (who is actually my stepdad that also raised me from age 2) was aware that we'd hopefully know by the holidays if our IVF resulted in a pregnancy.  Because I didn't have the courage to call and tell him that it had not, he asked me about it Christmas Day.  "Hey!  I've gotten emails from you, but nothing hearing what I want to hear!"  I just dropped my head a bit, teared up a little, and said, "Well . . . it . . . it didn't work."  At that point, my often undemonstrative Dad hugged me and told me it would be okay no matter what.  He looked at me and said, "I always wanted a daughter, and I got one!"  As did I get a second Daddy.

While these words can't fix anything that is broken (not even my heart), they stay in my mind and heart, and they do help.  They also stay locked in my mind reminding me what I do have - people who love me.

Today - 2007 and 2010

Three years ago today, an ultrasound revealed that our first pregnancy was not viable.  It's hard to believe it was three years ago.  The emotions of that day make it feel as if it were yesterday, while the struggles we have faced since then make it feel like forever ago.  I'm in a much better place emotionally now, but today will always linger in my mind.

Today will be difficult in another way because I will spend it with many others saying goodbye to a friend.  Kacie lost her battle with cancer (CML) on April 12 and we will celebrate her life today on what should be her 45th birthday.  I haven't written about it because I didn't feel as if it was my place to do so.  I will ask you to please click on her name to learn her amazing story of strength, love, faith, and family.  You can also find out more about becoming a bone marrow donor to help someone else.

RIP to our first baby and especially to Kacie.

Baby Kelsey

Our friends Patti and Andy have been told there is nothing else the doctors can do to help their baby girl, Kelsey. Please go by their blog and share love and prayers with them. It's okay to tell them that I sent you.

MIA

I know I've been MIA for a while now. Things have been busy and tough, and honestly, I'm the kind of person that just gets quiet & holes up when things aren't going well. In those time, I just don't have the energy to give to anyone or anything that isn't a top priority of life.

School has been a killer this month. New students, severe behavioral issues, additional meetings, extra paperwork, lots of documentation and reports, parenting concerns, grades, lots of parent conferences, tutoring during and after school, and the stress of upcoming testing is making things extra rough. This past two weeks of work have probably been the worst I've seen in a while. Twelve hour days are the norm this time of year. I haven't felt well on top of that, so sleep is a precious commodity that even surpasses food and quality time with DH right now. When I walked in the door after 7:00pm last Friday night, DH just looked at me and I said, "When I grow up, I want to be a secretary." I'm just praying for the end of April, so I can (hopefully) enjoy the downhill slide of the end of the year.

We did another IUI on January 11th, and things looked perfect. I took Femara again, did acupuncture, quit drinking caffeine, drank little to no wine, had "perfect" lining, good follicular development, had the trigger shot, DH's numbers were "perfect", and the IUI itself was perfect. Why would things not go perfectly well and we get pg?! I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time, and had such a positive feeling and attitude along the way. There were dreams of pregnancy and babies. I developed several symptoms and swore that I had to be pg.

Then AF showed. Right on time. I was devastated. Again. DH was sweet about it, and loved and hugged on me while I cried. Of course, the dog barfed up a silicone baking mat that he'd eaten right about then so life continued. :) No rest for the weary, huh?

Nobody knew that we did the IUI except for my work team and about five or six friends of mine that have recently gone through - or are right now going through - the journey of PL/IF. They have been a huge support for me along the way, after my crushing defeat, and moving ahead.

I have an appt. with Dr. Terrific on Wednesday and plan on skipping out on a staff meeting that day to go. We don't know where we'll go from here, but it will still be in the direction of a baby.

Meet My Goddaughter

I've wanted/needed to post this for a couple of months, but I had to wait for the right time. The most important thing is that I'M A GODMOTHER to a beautiful little girl! I would like for you to meet my precious little Goddaughter, Payton Elizabeth. She was born on November 9, 2009. This photo is of Payton and I on the day of her church dedication on November 22, 2009. We immediately fell in love.

Payton is the daughter of my awesome friends Sarah & Jamie. You can hear more about the awesome story of them becoming a family on Sarah & Jamie's blog. I'm sure you'll get to see more cutie-pie photos while you're there, too.

This photo of Miss P, her Mommy Sarah, and I was taken under the lovely, glistening harsh and unforgiving lights of the church. I promise my hair is blonde, not orange. It is also not a lie that I am taller than Sarah and I'm fat.

Look at that cute girl!!!! (That Mommy is a cutie too!) After her dedication before the church, I held Payton through the entire church service. We were able to learn more about Jesus and sing songs. It was awesome.

It's difficult for me to put into words, but I am so thankful that Sarah and Jamie were led to ask me to be Payton's Godmother. It is a role that I take very seriously. There are many opportunities in the years ahead to help Sarah and Jamie shape their precious girl into a loving, beautiful, kind-hearted woman of God. I just hope that I can fulfill my role well.

Prayers Needed

I've asked you before, and I'll ask again. Please send your prayers to "The UP Family" - Kelsey and her parents, Patti and Andy, and big brother Keeton. My friends need us all right now, and they are hoping your prayers will help.

A New Old Friend

First of all, thank you for all of your sweet comments yesterday. I've thankfully moved through the point where I would spend the day crying and feeling sorry for myself, but the thoughts of our first baby are always present in my mind.

Last night continued my path through the land of pregnancy loss and infertility. I had the awesome opportunity to meet an old friend for the first time. Now, I know that sounds strange. How could I meet an old friend for the first time? Well, let me tell you . . .

A couple of years ago - I can't remember if it was after losing baby #1 or baby #2 - I joined an amazing group of ladies on the Nest's Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss board. It was incredible place where I could be safe and express my true feelings because everyone there understood. They were in the depths with me. If you have ever experienced a m/c, you know that really the only people who can truly understand what you are going through are the people who are going through it also.

I made so many friends on that board. Yes, they were internet friends but they were friends. Many still are, and many are becoming IRL friends now too. One woman who has always been on my side encouraging me and loving me through it all is "NoVaIrish." I thankfully got to meet her face-to-face for the first time last night.

It was such a surreal experience. Just as it was the first time I met Katie and Maria, NoVa and I practically ran to each other and just hugged one another for a long time. We talked openly about everything. We already knew one another. We know each other's hearts which speaks volumes. It was awesome. After spending less than five minutes together, it just felt like we had done this many times before. I think at one point we were finishing each other's sentences and saying the same thing at the same time! And, of course, we both have a love for babies and beer (in that order!).

The cherry on top of that awesome friend sundae was that I got to meet NoVa's son as well. I knew him as his mother's dream long before he was conceived. Meeting Baby Michael felt like I was seeing a nephew for the first time. I knew who he was when I saw him, and I couldn't take my eyes off him for the longest time. Just like with Maria's EJ, the babynapping thoughts flooded my brain, but yet again I didn't have a car seat for a quick getaway. haha!

Like his Mommy and Auntie Kekis, Michael likes beer too. ;) Okay, it's just the bottle he likes but he IS teething ya know.

And after a few beers fun night of playing, I took Michael on my own for a while. NoVa was totally cool with me taking her kid with me when I needed to go to the bathroom, getting his diaper changed, and walking around. I decided to see if I still had that magic touch, and got Michael to sleep. I still have it! That's when the self-portraits began.

I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to meet an old friend. It's difficult to find other women in your own personal circle of friends who truly know you and what you are going through. Some people don't understand the kind of connection we have, but only because they haven't experienced it before. It's truly like seeing an old friend again - even if you've never seen one another before.

New Blog for Kelsey

Please check out Patti's new blog for Kelsey and their family. The UP Family

Kelsey had a tough day today, so go by when you can and share some love with them. Your continued prayers are appreciated.

Please Pray for Kelsey

I am enclosing an email and photo I received from my friend & neighbor. Patty & Andy’s daughter, Kelsey was taken by emergency c-section at only 31.5 weeks because doctors felt something was “wrong” and she would be safer outside the womb. Kelsey was born premature with her family to later learn that she has Down’s Syndrome, heart issues, and a myriad of other health problems that come with being a preemie. She is now facing open heart surgery with complications.

Please keep our friends in your prayers. They have experienced the heartbreaking journey of IF, and finally have their two babies. Unfortunately, the past seven weeks have been extremely rough for Kelsey, her parents, and her big brother (Keeton, age 2½ ). The road ahead is difficult and dangerous. Patti is also dealing with some health issues that concern her as well.

When I asked Patti if it was okay for me to pass on her requests, she was thankful that I would ask others to join us in prayer. Feel free to pass this on to your prayer groups, church groups and friends. If you'd like to use the above photo as a button for your blog, please feel free to do so. I’ll keep you updated as I can.

Until then, thank you.
__________________________________________

Kelsey's not getting better, Wednesday and Thursday she started getting worse and Friday was very scary for us. We met the with the NICU team of nurses and doctors to discuss our options and at first, they wanted her to have open heart surgery ASAP. But the pediatric cardiologist thought she was too little and it would be too dangerous (meaning she wouldn't make it out of surgery). She spent the whole morning talking to us, the heart surgeons, and the NICU doctors trying to figure out what would be the best for Kelsey. The three problems with her heart I mentioned in the last email (PDA, VSD and ASD) were getting to be too much for her little body to handle. Her lungs and body were filling up with fluid and she was having a hard time breathing. On top of that her platelets were continuing to drop and she had to get platelets twice, once on Tuesday and then again on Friday. Friday they put her back in her incubator and back on IV fluids only and thought it best not to hold her. Then told us we needed to decide if we wanted to move her to "Hospital C" or "Hospital M" (changed for privacy reasons - there are two major pediatric hospitals in the area) and if we wanted to do surgery to only fix the PDA (it's on the outside of the heart) now and hope she improves so we can do open heart surgery when she bigger (at least 8 lbs) or do we want to risk doing open heart surgery now and fix them all (VSD and ASD are the holes in the heart). Another risk for the open heart is that putting you on the heart and lung pump burns platelets and she has a problem with making platelets. Needless to say, Friday and Saturday was a tough time for us trying to get all the info we need to make this decision. We did a lot of praying and talking to doctors and anyone else that could help us.

So, Saturday afternoon we decide to go with "Hospital M" (one of the hospitals which is closer to home) and plan on doing just the PDA surgery first, sometime this week. We've prayed about this decision and asked God to give us the wisdom to make the right decision and now we have to trust in Him to give us a peace about it. This has been one of the hardest decisions we have had to make. We don't know how this week will unfold but have to trust it's in God's hands. Kelsey will probably be moved to Hospital M (the new hospital) tomorrow (Monday morning). Then the heart surgeon and cardiologist will have to decide when her surgery will be for the PDA. Also, Hospital M has a pediatric hematologist that will also look at her and try to figure out what's going on with her blood ("Hospital P" where she's been didn't have ped. hematologist). We're also going to have a ped. liver doctor look at her because her liver is still too large and we have never gotten a good answer as to why. She will probably still be in the incubator and on IV fluids until they can get all this done.

Tuesday will be 7 weeks since she was born and we aren't much closer to getting her home. That's very discouraging to us but at the same time we are hopeful the change in hospitals, a new set of doctors looking at her and the surgery to close the PDA will make a BIG difference. We definitely need your prayers for Kelsey, both of us and big brother Keeton. It's been a long 7 weeks and we still have a long way to go.

Also, tomorrow I have my gallbladder function test at 11:30am. Pray we find the answers we need for me. Not the best timing for this gallbladder but God know how much we can handle and we are depending on Him more than ever for His strength, His peace and His hope to help us through all of this.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support!!!

Love,

Patti and Andy

BIG TONIGHT & BIG TOMORROW

Big stuff going on here people . . . BIG!

First BIG thing first: My friend Jenn is in Labor & Delivery right now! Please send your love and prayers her way. Jenn's water broke earlier (I got the call close to 5pm CDT) and her DH, Hal, took her to the hospital. Since Halle is a bit stubborn - like her mom, maybe? - she is breech and will be delivered via c-section at 9pm CDT. C'mon baby Halle! We can't wait to meet you! Love you Jenn!

Next BIG thing: Ohmygoodnessgracious! Big Brother's season finale is tonight!!! It's DVRing right now, so I don't have to waste any time with stupid commercials. I've watched every season of this wonderfully ridiculous show, and I'm excited about the finale! GO JORDAN! (or Kevin if not Jordan, but definitely not Natalie)

Another BIG thing tonight: Biggest Loser's season premiere! A local favorite is Abby Riker. Her story is heartbreaking. Her husband went to the same high school as I did, but he was (of course) much younger. I LOVE this show, and I'm rooting for the home girl! You can do it, Abby!

Oh, and another big thing: is coming tomorrow! You better stay tuned. I'm serious. You might like it and not want to miss out! In fact, if you check back soon, it might be tomorrow. This is cool enough to earn its own post.

However . . .

In response to my post from yesterday (or was it the day before?):

I'm mainly irritated with the women on FB who have not experienced PL/RPL/IF. I'm crazy, bitter, irritated, sad, frustrated, and pretending to be hopeful right now. However, I am not upset by those of you whom I consider friends (IRL, FB, PL/TTCAL/SAL/PAL & OL) who know where I'm coming from because you've been where I am right now. That includes my Newtie, Maria, & Joyce and their overly cute men. Don't be foolin' yourself that you can rid of a kekis THAT easily. :)

Now there are the ones who have been in uterus before and just constantly bitch about everything when they're pg. They are a whole different story and an entirely different ranting, rambling post.

As far as this ridiculous cycle #26, I'm on CD17 or 18 and I started pink spotting today. Not spots as in dots, but light, pink, watery stuff when I wipe. You know - the kinda stuff I'd freak out about if I were . . . say . . . 6w3d pregnant & I saw it. Guess I'll call Dr. Terrific and hang out with him. I miss him anyway. How sick is that?

Until the uterus turns again, my friends . . .

Paint Myself Blue

My super bloggy-friend, Katie, is in the area and I was supposed to meet for dinner tonight. My stupid car died (like dead as a doornail died) leaving me with no wheels to go meet her. I was even going to avert any plans for No Pants Day in order to see my Katie. Yes, MY Katie.

I'm so disappointed . . .

So, everyone unpaint yourselves with that green envy paint you had slathered on since Katie and I were going to hang out tonight. Instead, you can paint yourselves blue since I'm sad that today's opportunity is gone. The only good news is that Katie's Dad did well in surgery and is recovery nicely now.

Maybe now Mr. & Mrs. Happy Hours will move to Texas to avoid all this needing to meet stuff. Yes, I know she just read that! :)

Show & Tell: Box of Hope

I haven't participated in Mel's Show & Tell in a long time, mainly because I didn't know what to show. Photos of a barren uterus are about all I feel that I've had to offer of late, but I finally have a wonderful photo to share.

I have a wonderful friend named Maria, but you must know that I have never met her IRL. We "met" on a Pregnancy Loss board and have gotten to know one another through the past couple of years. She has become a great friend that provides me strength, patience, and hope. Maria understands my journey and offers me a future through her story. (Hi EJ!)

Yesterday I received what I'm calling the "Box of Hope" from Maria. The contents of this box are my future.



As you can see, the box held a bag containing vials of heparin, some needles/syringes, and even alcohol wipes. WHEN (not if) I get pregnant again, I am actually looking forward to injecting myself every day with blood thinning medication in hopes that I can sustain a pregnancy. These goodies bring me good luck, as Maria received her heparin before getting pg with her precious EJ, so now we're hoping that luck rubs off on me. :)

I knew Maria's kind plans to send her leftover liquid gold to me, but I didn't know that another thoughtful gift would be included. You can also see in the box a precious picture frame. In the sweet note that Maria wrote me, she said, "And when it (the heparin) works, use this frame to keep your weekly u/s pictures." It definitely will be used for our future u/s photos, so DH and I can look at our baby as he/she grows through the weeks.

We are hoping and praying to empty our "box of hope" and use all of its contents very soon. Thank you, Maria!

Why I'm Crying Today

I am speechless, which is a word that most would not associate with me. It is extremely rare that I just don't. know. what. to. say.

I got an email from my friend Sarah this morning, telling me she has a present for me. There was a mixup and it was shipped to her, but it's now on its way to me. And I cannot wait to get it.

She found it on this Etsy site. It's sold out, so I have one and you don't. ;) Here is the description:

This beautiful necklace represents all of those out there that have or are struggling with Infertility.

If you're aware of the "Infertility's Common Thread" bracelet you'll understand the meaning behind the Pomegranate colors that were chosen for this piece.

The Pomegranate Ribbon is to promote awareness.
The Pomegranate Teardrop Pearl represents the tears that have been shed.
The Miracles charm represents the miracles we will one day have.
The Pomegranate Crystal represents the glimmer of Hope we all need on a cloudy day.

If you're unaware of the Pomegranate colors, please visit this site for more information. http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com and search for "Infertility's Common Thread". [You can find the icon linked in the top, right corner of this blog too!]

. . . I want to make the world aware that Infertility is real and it hurts.

To Sarah: (Yeah, I'm crying typing this now.) Thank you from the bottom of my heart and the depths of my broken & barren uterus. Little did we know when we first "met" that we would walk this journey together. I know you're my biggest cheerleader, and I thank you for it. I hope you know that I'm the same for you. I can't wait to wear my necklace proudly - for all the world to see my struggles on the outside, for me to represent ALL of us who wear Infertility's Common Thread, and to show everyone that I have such an amazing friend in you. I love you.

CONGRATS to My Friends!!!

My friends Sarah and Jamie found out last night that they will become first-time parents within the next couple of weeks. A birth mother has chosen them to be the Mommy and Daddy to the baby she is carrying right now. Her due date is January 31st, so it could really be any day now. Will it be a boy or a girl?? That, we do not know.

Please pray for Sarah and Jamie - that everything goes smoothly through the adoption process and they are able to bring home a healthy, little, bundle of joy. And please pray for the birth mother. She is getting ready to do one of the most selfless acts that a woman could ever do. I can't even imagine the heartache she must be feeling, and I hope God can give her the peace she needs.