Where It All Began

Today marks 6 years since my first BFP (and subsequent m/c) and the long, painful road to trying to have a family.  It's hard to believe that it has been SIX YEARS since the roller coaster ride began.  And, boy, do I hate roller coasters!  (metaphorically and realistically)

However, as I rocked Kate to sleep the other night (and admittedly held her long after that), I can finally understand why we had to go through it all.  Now, here we are with our precious daughter and an amazing birth mother whom I absolutely love and cherish as well.  It's such a mix of emotions, and I thankful I can finally look back and say, "Ohhhhh . . . I see. That kind of makes sense now!"  What a long, tragic, sucky, miserable ride that ended in this beautiful, perfect place!

Here's an example of beautiful and perfect.  :)

It can't get any better than round rosy cheeks, bright blue eyes, pretty pink lips, blonde spiky hair, and lovely long eyelashes!  And you should see her chubby thighs!  That is right.  My daughter, Kate, is PERFECT.

After the long, hard battle I can now see in her that it all makes sense.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.

FINAL

On Monday, December 17th, 2012 Kate's adoption was finalized.  While it was only a formality stating what we have known in our hearts all along, Katherine Leigh is now officially a Rambler.  Her last name has been changed, her birth certificate is being reissued with the name change and placing our names upon it, and she will soon be able to get a social security number.

It was so neat to see the other families there doing the same as us.  Since we were the second-to-last family to go before the judge, we offered to take photos of families as soon as they exited the courtroom.

One of the most special scenes I witnessed was of a family of SEVEN - Dad & Mom (both Caucasian), three Caucasian daughters, a young AA son and young AA daughter.  They were all dressed so wonderfully and had huge smiles on their faces as they emerged from the courtroom as an "official" family.  They all hugged and smiled at one another.  The Mom then stopped, closed her eyes, and began to weep tears of relief and joy.

Being an empathetic crier, I teared up with her before jumping from my seat to take a photo.  They were so appreciative and my heart warmed with the love they all had for one another.  Our family just beamed with them, knowing we were feeling the same way.  What a special moment for everyone that will always be in etched in my brain and heart.

We got a few photos taken before we were called.

Kate with two of her sets of grandparents - Papa & Gran (my dad & stepmom) and
Grandpa & Grandma Linny (Todd's dad & stepmom).

Daddy & his little girl.

Along for the ride, but not overly interested!

Our lil' family. I love Kate's WubbaNub paci hanging out of her mouth!

Our time finally came to enter the courtroom.  Kate had fallen asleep (not long after sharing her pterodactyl cries through the echoing hall outside the courtroom!), and I was carrying her.  Our attorney was inside and we were asked to approach the bench.  We asked if our family could join us, and everyone said yes with smiles on their faces.  The attorney began to petition the court for our adoption, we were sworn in by the judge, and the legal talk ensued.

Our attorney then asked Todd a series of questions related to our adoption, submitted documentation to the court (home study, criminal backgrounds, etc.), and then asked if I concurred with all of Todd's answers.  Whenever the judge responded, she did so with a sweet and happy voice.  We knew this must be the best part of job as a judge in the juvenile courts of a large urban county.

As the discussion got underway, so did my tears.  They were the silent and thankful type of tears, unlike the many loud and painful tears cried through the over five years of waiting for our baby.  When the judge declared this adoption official and binding, that this daughter will always be ours, she said it through a smile.  My smile returned hers, albeit a little stained with black mascara streaks.  (Why did I think I wouldn't cry that day??!!)  The sweet judge then gave Kate a little stuffed bunny as a gift and congratulated us and our family.  We took photos of OUR family now.

Yes, for the record, I photoshopped out most of my mascara streaks.
I was under oath, so I have to tell you.

Just a small section of Kate's family and a minute section
of the many who love her.

Our precious daughter was really and truly and finally ours.  In our hearts, on paper, legally, to the world - ours.  It's not that she wasn't before, but now we could breathe just a tiny bit easier knowing that no matter what, she would be with us forever.  Joyous relief filled my heart.  What a journey it has been to get here.  And what a journey it will be.

"For this child I have prayed . . . " 1 Samuel 1:27

Adoption Tax Credit

Your help is needed!!

We are lucky enough to be able to finalize Kate's adoption before the end of the year which will qualify us for an adoption tax credit.  This credit will offset less than 25% of our total adoption expenses but it will help.  However, Congress is planning to abolish the current structure of the tax credit which will affect many, many, many people and likely prevent them from creating a family simply because of money.

Regardless of your political involvement and believes, PLEASE sign this petition (http://wh.gov/9jqZ) and share it with others via Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, whatever.  This is not a political statement from me; it is a plea to help others by preventing this change from happening.   I was #909 to sign the petition if you want to me to prove that I signed.  :)

Thank you . . .

Introducing:

Our little blessing . . . Miss Katherine Leigh!   "Kate" was born September 11, 2012 at 11:08am weighing 7 lbs. 2 oz. and 20 inches long. We are proud, humbled, blessed, and already a little tired. ;)  Kate is more beautiful than we could have ever imagined!

Worry not, amazing readers.  There are many details to come.  I've been back-dating my ramblings, so read when you can, but I already have a lot to ramble from the last few days!

Love,

The Ramblers

Busy Day!

I spent most of the day preparing for our little lady.  Started with a doctor's appointment to get rid of this nasty cough/bronchial infection and also wound up getting a tetanus + pertussis shot upon the doc's recommendation.  Afterwards, I headed to the grocery store to pick up some food and came home with diapers, wipes, hangers, and bath stuff.  Then I got home, unloaded groceries, grabbed a bite to eat, and Mr. Rambler and I headed to the baby store.

If you've ever been to a baby store on Saturday, then you owe me a drink for not warning me ahead of time.  It was one crazyass place.  DH said, "I don't crave drinks, but I am now." and "They really need scotch at the end of every aisle."  Of course, he found a couple of things he thought we should register for, so we added them.  We also picked our glider/rocker and the fabric for it.  We finally bought baby's PNP w/ bassinet, some hair bows, a boppy cover, a going home outfit (so cute!), and a few other things.  Instead of going home so I could take my meds and nest, I went for a nail appointment.

Not long after I got home,  my bff since 8th grade came by and brought our travel system!  It was such a generous gift & I'm so excited about it.  Our evening ended with dinner.

My order from Carter's arrived so our baby doesn't have to go nekkid.  When we got home from dinner, I assembled our stroller, car seat, & PNP, washed my first load of baby stuff, folded it all, washed bottles, packed our diaper back, and got ready for bed.

Tomorrow I'll go through the five boxes of clothes from a friend and the two boxes of clothes from my sisters. My car has a date at the car spa, the dogs MUST be bathed, install the carseat base, go by the fire dept to have it checked, and take my dad to dinner for his bday.  I also need to write lesson plans for next week and the weeks that follow.

Still waiting to hear from J and meet our dream girl.  I'm really excited now that we're ready!

Daddy's Book

A friend of Mr. Rambler's gave him this book and told him to start reading it, so he'll be ready whenever our baby finds us.  :)  After I got home from work tonight (at 7:30 pm - ugh), DH showed it to me.  He said, "I'm sure you probably know everything in it, but it would be good for me to read some."  Boy, I must have him fooled!!

Check out the 411 to avoid the 911.

Practice Makes Perfect?

Rewind -- Wednesday, September 5, 2012

 

J went to the doctor yesterday and is doing well. We were VERY surprised to learn that she is already dialated to 4cm (10cm = delivery). So . . . baby girl will be here much sooner than later. J is schedule for an induction on the 21st if for some reason she hasn't delivered by then - which would be surprising.

Last night, J was having back pain. Being worried about being dialated so much & living so far from the hospital (about 45-60 mins from home), she went in to get checked. I drove there & met her there while Mr. Rambler waited to see if this was "it." She didn't even go to the hospital to deliver her son until she was 8cm dialated (ack!), so she appears to have a strong tolerance for pain which is another reason she went.

Baby looked great --- still very active, solid heartrate (I got to hear it!), etc. --- contractions were about every 4 to 8 minutes but sporadic. J was discharged about midnight and given instructions on when to return, so we all headed home at that point.

Anyway . . . we are now in a holding pattern but getting hospital bags ready, and gathering/scavenging/buying/preparing necessities, etc.   We will keep you posted when the real time comes!

Hard to Understand

Mark My Word

ISN'T THIS AWESOME??!!!

Whenever we get to adopt our baby, he/she will wear this asap.

You can guarantee it.

Mark my word.

Not just any baby can wear this!  :)

Available from CafePress.

MIRACULOUSLY My Own

Irony? I think not.

Rewind -- Sunday, September 2, 2012

I was commenting on a blog this morning and this was the "captcha" I had to enter before my post would appear.  Our daughter's first name (well, +di) and my favorite number.  Yes, God.  I hear you!  I see you!

Amazing

Rewind -- Saturday, September 1, 2012

I received an email tonight from A, the agency co-owner.  She had spoken to J (our BM) after her appointment on Friday and sent me this:  "It went great! She was excited to hear about your reaction to the news (about the sono) . . . anyway, she is very excited for you all!!!"

SHE is excited for US???  What an amazing woman has been brought into our lives!  J is making our dreams come true through her sacrifice and she is excited for us.

So amazing.  So humbling.  So excited.  So scary.

Well, Hi There!

Rewind -- Friday, August 31, 2012

J had yet another wonderful doctor's appointment today, and A sent us these photos.

J said she felt it was a girl, and she was right!  We didn't think we'd learn the gender until the baby was born.

Meet our precious DAUGHTER!

We are thrilled.  Mr. Rambler is "nervous."

36 Weeks

Rewind: Friday, August 31, 2012

Today is 36 weeks!  J is busy cooking our baby to perfection.

How your baby's growing:

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating her from the outside of your belly.

Still There? Still Counting?

Anyone there?  ::taps on glass::

Helllllllooooooo?  :: presses face against the glass & starts to breathe heavy to fog it up and entertain myself::

I'm seriously beginning to think that I'm just here talking to myself.  Outside of the occasional spam, comments are few & far between.  Sorry I can't share more exciting news to keep you interesting.  Believe me, I wish I could.

Well, in case you're actually still here and you are still counting, last weekend was EIGHT (8) MONTHS into our wait.  We have now reached the point that we will require an update to our homestudy since it expires at one year.  It will have to be reviewed, completed, and re-approved.  We'll see if the dogs behave again this time.  Promise to keep you posted!

35 Weeks

REWIND: Friday, August 24, 2012

NOTE:  This is NOT a photo of my bump, but it is a pic of the bump for my baby.  :)
We hope to meet our (potential) future birthmother next week. 

How your baby's growing:

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

Speechless

Rewind --- Wednesday, August 22, 2012, 2:47pm

THE CALL came today.  8 months and 5 days officially waiting and we are matched.

We are going to be parents . . . in only a handful of weeks.  This is amazing.

It's Not IF Calling . . . This Time

Nope.  It wasn't IF.  Instead, it's the waiting-future-adoptive-Mommy-and-presently-crazy-lady!  Mr. Rambler and I went to South Lake Tahoe for a weekend getaway and family wedding.  After we landed at the airport, we descended down a long & steep escalator towards baggage claim.  As we were coming down the escalator I saw a stroller/infant carrier like we plan to get at the bottom. Then (here comes the delusional me!) I thought to myself, “How cool would that be if A (the co-owner/director of our agency) was standing there with OUR baby in OUR carrier???”

Told ya so . . . . . I am now the waiting-future-adoptive-Mommy-and-presently-crazy-lady.  This can only get worse the longer we wait!

Look Up

Seriously.  Look up towards the blog header.  See that ticker?  It says SEVEN MONTHS.  Anybody have the ability to fast forward time? I'm starting to get (continuing to get?) discouraged.  I know our baby is out there.  I know God has a plan for us.  I know this is not a long wait compared to so many, but still . . .

During IF treatments, every month came with hope and disappointment.  There would be a chunk of time where you hoped this would be "it" and a day of huge disappointment followed by days of barren feelings before hope popped up again.  It's kind of the same but different now, and I still have those feelings probably more often than before.  Every day I walk by a room that longs to be a nursery. Every day I think of cleaning out that room but can't because of fear. Every day I look at my pups and think of what great fursiblings they'll be.  Every day I look at Mr. Rambler and long for him to be a father.  Every day my heart wishes to be a mother.  Every day we hope the phone will ring with THE Call. And every day we wait.

In Case You're Counting

6 1/2 months . . . . . . .
hoping we're at LEAST half way there . . . . . . . . .