Don't Quit

Saw this today & LOVED it!  I will add it to my Quotes for Strength page linked above.

"Don't quit before your miracle.  When you're in the trenches of a transformation, it is hard to see your miracle coming."  ~ Karen Salmansohn

The Reason

This explains the past 4 years and four months of my life.   Thanks for sharing it, S.  You are one of the ones who know it, too.

Interesting . . .

I saw a friend posted this as her FB status today: "One reason we struggle with insecurity:  We're comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel."


That loaded statement now has me thinking of how it applies to me, to us, to our family (and lack thereof).  Our behind the scenes is what matters.  Mr. & Mrs. Rambler, in our home - our lives - our relationship - that's what matters to us.  Everything else (including having children) is just added footage to our story.  It's sometimes hard to remember that when we are in the throes of tragedy, difficulty, frustration, grief, stress, etc.  Day-to-day existence takes our eyes away from the "prize" whatever it may be.  We all know our "prize" and the importance of focusing on that.


Forget the insecurity that is bred from comparing our current selves to others.  Everyone has a few different people within one - the wife, the worker, the infertile, the online friend, the IRL friend, the patient, the daughter, the sister, the aunt, and more.  There are many hats we all wear as our individual selves.  So, in the end, what really matters?  That is what we need to remember.  And I work every day to remind myself of that.

So True (I Hope)

We take what God gives us and we say, "Thank You," and sometimes the life we're given is better than anything we could have planned for ourselves.  ~ "4LittleDucks"

A Woman's heart is the most delicate and astonishing thing God ever made. It holds the secrets of eternity, corridors to divinity, treasures of solitude, bounties of loyalty and silence to be heard . . .

borrowed from Eternity is relentless!

I've been in a "quotely" mood lately, so check out  my Quotes Page for more.

True Loss

"You can’t plan everything and if you do, you could missing out on so much that life has to offer. And that? That is true loss."  ~ Beth Fletcher, I Should be Folding Laundry

In My Own Words

"Be thankful for what you have because it might be something that someone else would die to have." ~ kekis

Courage

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ” - Mary Anne Radmacher



PS - My blog will go private in a couple of days.  I've received many requests from many of those I do and do not know.  Please feel free to email me if you'd like access.  kekis26 @ gmail . com

Quote for Strength

"Anyone can give up, it is the easiest thing to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that is true strength."

Two New Quotes

I've added two new quotes to my "Quotes for Strength" collection.  They both apply to me today.

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"Courage is fear that has said its prayers." ~ Dorothy Bernard

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"You can't just sit around waiting for luck to see you through." President Obama (quoting his mother) 9.14.10

Change

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~ Maya Angelou

How true is that statement?  When I think back through the past three years, six years, ten years, twenty years . . . it is truly amazing all of the changes I've been through and seen.  Many say that change is not good, but sometimes it is.  Change is inevitable - there is nothing we can do about that.  It's simply called LIFE.  How we approach it is what we can control.  Our choice of attitude and perspective on any given situation can often determine how we weather any storm or appreciate any sunny day.

As I move into this week with a bit of apprehension and fear about my surgery, I am choosing to remain positive and hopeful that this WILL BE the change that helps us to reaching our dream of having a family.  I am choosing not to worry about it all, and that will be difficult.  All I can do it hope and pray that when our dream is fulfilled that I can look back through the really tough and devastating times, and say, "Aaahhh . . . okay.  I get it now."

Hope.  That crazy, crazy thing called hope.

An Amazing Quote

I know it's been forever since I posted,  Things have been tough around here for us, so I've been trying to pick up the pieces and get things done.  Nothing on the infertility front other than my surgery is scheduled.  Promise to catch you all up soon.

Meanwhile, my friend Sarah shared this on FB today, and I had to share it with you: 

"The English language lacks the words 'to mourn an absence.' For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful, some not. Still, we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only 'I am sorry for your loss.' But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness.  For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?" - Laura Bush

More Quotes for Strength

I added a few more quotes to my collection of Quotes for Strength. Check them out when you can or whenever you need them. There's a link on the sidebar as well.

"The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart." ~ Robert Ingersoll

Quotes for Strength

I have been collecting quotes for years. Since my first loss I've gathered quotes to provide me strength, so thought I'd include some here in hopes that it may help you find strength when you need it. I tried to add this as a gadget on the blog, but it took up too much page space & my anal/OCD self didn't like the formatting. Credit for quotes is given when provided (please comment here if you can provide credit for any quote). Have any others to add? Let me know!


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"You won't get over this, but you will get through this." (With hope, faith, family, and friends, and especially ourselves, it's amazing what we can survive.) - kekis - me!

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"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. You shine all the time, Angel, and in these dark times, your inner beauty will continue to illuminate around you. Know that when it seems the world can't get any darker and you don't have the strength to shine your light, let those who love you shine for you and show you the way again."

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From Maria's blog:

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother: There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me. I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won. So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life. Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

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From PL/SAL Nestie "ourlittlebean" 11/07:
God understands greiving days. It is okay to cry for an entire day for the one you loved so much and have to go on without. But it is the devil who keeps that grief in your heart permanently. God knows you will be sad and allows you those days, but you can't let that grief take over all the parts of your life. You must be open to good things, because those good and positive things are God. You are not doing an injustice to the one you have lost if you move on, you are honoring them. They are waiting for you to smile again. Letting God do good with you is the right thing to do.

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from MrsABC's blog, 11/15/07 "You can’t grasp the loss until you understand the gain." ". . . what I can’t understand is why our story has to be a secret. When a family member dies, you grieve with the support of all the people in your life. But when the baby growing inside of you dies, you lock the sorrow inside your house and walk around in the outside world as if nothing has been lost. So I'm done keeping this a secret."

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God never promises to remove us from our struggles. He does promise, however, to change the way we look at them. -Max Lucado

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1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 - Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

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"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next." -Gilda Radner

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"This isn't something you get over. It's just something you get through, and then you carry it around with you for the rest of your life. It's part of your story now. Part of your history. It'll always, always hurt. Just not quite as bad someday." from Lucious Lemon by Heather Swain

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Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

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When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

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The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

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"When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways - either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength." -Dalai Lama

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My Birthverse from Titus 3:5 NIV
He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit

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"Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them."
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From MaydayGirl's blog:
"Your God is big, and He has a big plan for you . . . and one day you'll see . . . that plan will call you mommy."

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"Loss has been part of my journey, but it has also shown me what is precious." from the movie Message in a Bottle

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"Don't hold on to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love." ~Unknown

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"You will be happy again. Life will become joyful again. And somehow, some way, if you want to become a parent, you will." - Alice Domar Ph.D., author of "Conquering Infertility"

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Mark 11-23-24: "Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -- Jeremiah 29:11

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Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The LORD answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. -- Genesis 25:21

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Those who were full hire themselves out for food, but those who were hungry hunger no more. She who was barren has borne seven children, but she who has had many sons pines away. The LORD brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up. -- 1 Samuel 2:5

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He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD. -- Psalm 113:9

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His promise is near. Keep believing Him for His promise.

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Make sure you pray, and pray believing God will answer.

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"And even though I'm walkin' through the valley of the shadow, I will hold tight to the hand of Him, whose love will comfort me. And when all hope is gone and I've been wounded in the battle, He is all the strength that I will ever need. He will carry me." ~ Mark Schultz

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"Prayer should never be your last resort, it should be your first response"

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"After a miscarriage, you grieve for a person you never knew, and for a relationship that ended before it really began. You grieve not for a person who has lived and died but for an unlived life. You grieve for the loss of your future as the parent of the baby who has died. You are sad not just because of what you have lost but because of what will never be."

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"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said; people will forget what you did; but they will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

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"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." - Helen Keller

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From Bring the Rain, Angie Smith's blog: "My Jesus is the same as He was before I walked into this room . . ."

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"The risk of love is loss and the price of loss is grief, but the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love." --Hilary Stanton Zunin

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"Ain't no shame in holding on to grief as long as you make room for other things." Bubbles (Reginald) from The Wire

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"The only way you deal with those things [a tragedy], I think, is you just gotta focus on what's left - what you have." Senator Joe Biden, Delaware (in an interview about losing his first wife and young daughter in a car accident)

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From the blog of Biogal, printed on Jen's Team Killion blog:
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too. I think of you in silence, I often say your name, but all I have is memories and your picture in a frame. Your memory is my keepsake with which I’ll never part. God has you in his keeping. I have you in my heart. I shed tears for what might have been. A million times I’ve cried. If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died. In life I loved you dearly, in death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place no one can ever fill. It broke my heart to lose you, buy you didn’t go alone. For part of me went with you, the day God took you home.

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We know we'll have a baby. And we're going to have the baby we're supposed to have. Whatever baby we end up with will be the right baby. Our baby. And we know that we'll hold that child and think, "If our journey had been easy, we wouldn't have you." ~Emily Giffin (Baby Proof)

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"God doesn't always change the circumstances, He did not change them for Jesus on that hillside outside Juruselum. But the cross is also proof that God always has a purpose in the circumstances and that His purpose and His plan will prevail and will triumph through any circumstances in this world."

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Find what makes you happy and do it until you die.

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From Angie Smith's blog:
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

"He loves you right where you are, but He loves you too much to leave you there."

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The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart. ~ Robert Ingersoll

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Grief is Not a Sign of Weakness,
Nor a Loss of Faith,
It is the Price Of Love.

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Do not make someone a priority if they are only willing to make you an option.

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"The more you expect from life, the more your expectations will be fulfilled. By laughing, you don't use up your laughter, but increase your store of it. The more you love, the more you will be loved. The more you give, the more you will receive."

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"The only way to the other side is through it." from The Pilot's Wife

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I wait patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:1-3
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If I could do everything, then there'd be no reason for hope. - Michael J. Fox, 2009

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Since I'm not sure of the address to which to send my gratitude, I put it out there in everything I do. - Michael J. Fox, 2009

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Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
~ Philippians 4:6, NLT

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When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time." shared by Shannon

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"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." Oprah Winfrey

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Two Great Quotes

I keep a collection of "Quotes for Strength" in my Palm/phone. That way they are always with me & I can refer to them when needed.


Todd and I just finished the last DVD from the HBO series The Wire. This was shared by a character named Bubbles (aka Reginald) in the last few episodes:

"Ain't no shame in holding on to grief as long as you make room for other things."


The other I heard this morning. It was from Senator Joe Biden of Delaware, who lost his first wife and their young daughter in a car accident many years ago:

"The only way you deal with those things [tragedy], I think, is you just gotta focus on what's left . . . what you have."


I think both quotes are powerful enough to make my collection and share with all of you.