The Obligatory Father's Day Post

As my barren & broken uterus turns . . .

DH got Father's Day cards from the cat and the dogs. Yippee. I cried when he opened them. After he pet the dogs and waved to the cat, I told DH that I hope next year he can be a Daddy to a human baby. Not the first year he's heard that, huh? Hmph. Cried again. Told him that yesterday (at my niece & nephew's bday party), I was going to take a photo of all the dads hanging out. Then it hit me that my DH isn't a dad. Because of me. Shit. Cried some more. Shit. DH told me the dreaded words, "Don't worry. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen." Shit. Went to take a nap after that.

Called my Dad (stepdad for those who get confused easily) and wished him a happy Dad's Day. He had just sent me a sweet email thanking me for his "beautiful card" from a "beautiful daughter" that made a "beautiful day." Says a lot from a man of few words. I love him.

My Dad & Step Mother came over for dinner. We chatted, ate & drank. I love my Dad. I love his wife too. I'm so thankful that he has such a wonderful woman to share his life.

Called my mom's husband. I call him that because I already have a Step Dad & people can't follow it for some reason. :) I wished him a happy Dad's Day even though he's not my Dad. However, he's a great person and wonderful to our family.

It's supposed to be 100+ degrees within the next couple of days. My head is killing me - don't know if it's sinus stuff or head/neck/back pain. Drugs help some. Sex week is coming. Not hopeful because it leads to disappointment every time. Mentally preparing myself for majorly invasive surgery of the uterine parts since things never go right anyway.

All in all, it wasn't a terrible Father's Day. It would be much better if I could see my amazing husband be an amazing Daddy to at least one beautiful child.

He IS Waiting

While I realize I don't always act or show it on this blog, I rely on God each and every day. I am a Christian, albeit imperfect, and my faith in the Lord is assuredly the only thing that has gotten me this far. I read this on another blog today, and it really hit home.

On Misty's blog, she spoke to me saying, "God is there, my sweet friends. Some of His greatest requirements of us, will truly be our largest sacrifices. Carry on. Run, walk, crawl through each day, knowing He is waiting to bare you up."

It is so true. There have been days in my journey to become a mother that even crawling has seemed impossible. How could I crawl if fear paralyzed me from even getting out of bed? Yet in those times, God helped me crawl. And then He retaught me how to walk. Some days I can even run. Thanks to Misty for such a poignant reminder.

I still look to the day that we will run with our child, but until then, I am thankful that He will bare me up. Even in the times when I cannot fathom doing it.

Getting to Know YOU

I borrowed this from my friend Jen because I think it's a great idea! I'd like to get to know my readers better. You don't have to give away private information or credit cards numbers (you can send me that info in a private message - ha!), but let me know who you are. C'mon . . . you know you want to share!

Here are the questions you can answer when you post your comment:

Name:
Live in:
Tell me a little about your family:
Your job:
Are you on my blog roll?/Do you wanna be?:
Hobbies/Interests:
Pets:
Type of Car:
Favorite color:
Favorite Store:
Favorite Quote:
One blog that you read everyday:


My answers since fair is fair:

Name: Kristin (kekis)
Live in: Dallas, Texas
Tell me a little about your family: DH, 1 cat, 3 dogs, 3 angel babies
Your job: teacher on summer vacation!
Are you on my blog roll? Do you wanna be?
Hobbies/Interests: scrapbooking, blogging, tv & movies, wine, cooking, photographs, our pets
Pets: cat - Mindy, dogs - Mackey, Pippin & Steve (wanna see pics?!)
Type of Car: Honda Pilot
Favorite color: black
Favorite Store: Target, WalMart, Costco, Home Depot, Hobby Lobby
Favorite Quote: "You won't get over this, but you will get through it."
One blog that you read everyday: varies since I have over 100 in my Google Reader

Another Award!

I'm feeling so much bloggy love these days. :) My online & IRL friend Sarah, who recently was selected by a birthmother and will become a mommy in November (woohooo!), awarded me with the Lemonade Award. That sweet thing thinks I have an attitude of gratitude! Awwww . . . shucks.

The Rules of Accepting and Sharing this Award:
1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs that show an attitude of gratitude.
3. Link to your nominees within your post.
4. Comment on their blogs to let them know they've received this award.
5. Share the love and link to this post and the person who nominated you for the award.

Then tell us how you've come to have an attitude of gratitude.

Honestly, I don't think my attitude is that grateful but maybe this award will improve that. I've become pretty bitter on the inside, yet I try not to show it on the outside. I continue to hope and pray than God will bless us with a child, and I try to share that hope with others as well. I am grateful for the life that we have right now even though I feel as if it is incomplete.

I'm not good at following rules, so I'll pass this on to everyone. I know there are many others out there who deserve this award. You know who you are, so please add this award to your blog and pass it on!

So Behind

I'm behind in everything. My email is backlogged, Google Reader overfloweth, public forums have been ignored, laundry needs to be done, don't know the last time I bought groceries, haven't slept much, no relaxation time whatsoever, and more. I have lots of blogging to do, but it'll take me a while to get it all done.

Things have just been VERY VERY busy in the past few weeks. Three out-of-town trips in one week, last week of school, house guests, my grandmother's memorial, a car wreck, DH being sick, planning DH's birthday, etc. etc. etc. etc. I'm absolutely exhausted.

Give me a couple of weeks to decompress and I'll entertain or bore you soon. There's lots to share with you, but none of it is TTC-related. (And, no, of course I'm not pregnant. You have to have sex to get pg, ya know. Told you things have been busy-crazy!)

Can You See Me Now?

I've had at least a handful of people contact me to let me know that my blog is "wonky" and needs fixin'. After I (unfortunately) updated to IE8 (which I HATE), I noticed that my blog did appear wonky to me now.

Hopefully it's fixed now. If not, let me know so I can start soliciting my html-code-friendly friends!

A Great Recipe

These are some wonderful tips to help make it through each day, and create the life you want and deserve. It's quite a great recipe.


1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________'

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli , almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it.

My Crazy 8s

Okay they aren't really crazy 8s, but Katie either wants to know more about me or wants you to know more about me!

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:
1. Tomorrow at 12:45 when my students leave!
2. Getting out of here on Friday for summer vacation!
3. Seeing family this weekend.
4. DH's 40th coming up & a surprise for him.
5. Sleeping.
6. Having an open schedule with no work necessary!
7. Scrapbooking
8. Going home to a clean house after the maid's visit today

8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1. Worked
2. Laminated a bunch of stuff for the next school year
3. Took a nap
4. Went to Bunco
5. Drank some wine
6. Field Day at school
7. Spent time with my niece, Whitney, since she came over for Field Day.
8. Filing

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1. Have a baby
2. Quit being so anxious
3. Stop procrastinating
4. Keep this blog updated more frequently
5. Buy a new digital SLR camera
6. Learn to sew
7. Draw
8. Take a nap right now

8 Shows I Watch:
1. All My Children
2. The Office
3. The Bachelorette
4. Amazing Race
5. Big Brother
6. Friends
7. News
8. Army Wives

8 Favorite Fruits:
1. Strawberries
2. Blackberries
3. Bananas
4. Plums
5. Grapes
6. Apples
7. Watermelon
8. Oranges

8 Places I'd Like to Travel:
1. Australia
2. New Zealand
3. Italy
4. Spain
5. Brazil
6. Throughout the US
7. British Virgin Islands
8. Tortola

8 Places I've Lived:
1. Plano, Texas
2. Dallas, Texas
3. Richardson, Texas
4. Commerce, Texas
5. Carrollton, Texas
6.
7.
8.

8 People I've tagged: (if you feel like it):
1. Any
2. Person
3. Who
4. Would
5. Like
6. to
7. Complete
8. This

Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wondered, "Why me?" Maybe you're having a bad day or hit a rough patch and wonder why you're having to go through it at the time. I'm sure we've all thought it at one point or another.

When you deal with IF/PL, you wonder "Why NOT me?" Everyone else has what you so desperately want. You feel like the last one picked to be on the team in PE. You wonder why it's so easy for everyone else. You feel that you are being left out and left behind in the land of IF. And all of those feelings are true feelings.

I've learned of at least three new pregnancies/births in the past few days. And, yes, I've wondered "Why NOT me????"

Maybe I should add, "When me?" to that. Guess it would be more of a waste of my breath and thought capacity though.

A Good Day

After an extremely difficult week (in which I admittedly thought of quitting), we got some good news at school today. You can read it here. It's long but from my heart.