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Saturday, December 5, 2009

December 5

Dear Baby #1,

Your Daddy and I were married on March 10, 2007 and made you sometime in the following week while on a relaxing honeymoon in the USVI. We found about you a little over two weeks later on March 27, and we were both so shocked! Your Daddy didn't quite believe me the first couple of times (days!) I told him. Never did we believe that we could conceive a child so easily. You were a blessing that we figured we would have to wait on for a long time.

We found out that you were to be born on this date, December 5, in 2007. As thrilled parents-to-be, we told almost everyone we could. They were excited to hear our wonderful news. We couldn't wait to be your parents. How excited we were to learn more about you and meet you and hold you and love you and celebrate Christmas with you. I felt as if you were a girl, even though I was barely pregnant. I had some slight nausea, was extremely fatigued, and my breasts were absolutely killing me. All I wanted to eat was crackers, chicken fingers, and potatoes.

Sadly, we learned on April 25 that we would not get to meet you here on Earth. I was devastated. I would never get to feel you moving in my belly or hold you or play with your Daddy or run with your pets or watch you grow. It's so amazingly difficult to explain to many others how I can miss you although I never met you. But I do. Every single day.

So, on the day that we wish that we could be celebrating your second birthday, I wanted you to know that I love you and miss you. You are my first angel, and my heart has a special place just for you. I will never, ever forget what you meant to me and the hopes and dreams I had for you.

Until we meet again,
Your Mommy

11 comments:

Sarah said...

Oh Kristin... *tears*

WiseGuy said...

Remembering your baby angel with you dear.

I feel for both of you.

Hopeful34 said...

Oh my gosh this made me cry...i'm so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

kate said...

Happy birthday angel baby. All of us down here send you lots of love.

((hugs)) to you Kristin.

Jess said...

:::HUGS::: Mommy!! I'm so sorry!!!

dinagideon said...

I am saying a prayer for you, your husband, and your sweet lil baby. The pain is immeasurable...I know it very well. Thanks for continuing to post on your life and journey. You are like a touchstone to things that I need to remember. (Namely two angel babies of my own...)

I find lighting a candle at my church helps me on their birthdays...

Cheryl said...

So sorry for you today. Lots of hugs coming your way.

Kim said...

So sorry for your pain today. I wish you peace...

Maria (MKC101103) said...

Oh sweetie. Hugs and love. Tons of hugs and love.

Shanny said...

Big ((hugs))
My first EDD was on Dec. 2nd, so I totally share your sadness :(

MISTY and CO... said...

Tears and tight hugs.

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