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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day: Take Action

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day: Take Action
October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism.

Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce it's incidence, but good research requires good data. H.R. 5979: Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act is under consideration by Congress. This proposed bill would standardize stillbirth investigation and diagnosis, thus providing more data for the needed research. Better research means fewer children born still.

On October 15th, remember the thousands of unfinished children lost and the families who remain to grieve them. Honor them by taking action. Let's help pass H.R. 5979.

Action Steps

Step 1. Use Your Blog to Enlist Others-Copy the contents of this entire post and publish it on your blog immediately.
GOAL: Enlist 10 of your readers to spread the word

Step 2. Use Your E-mail to Enlist Others-E-mail 5 bloggers and ask them (nicely and in an unspammy way) to publish these action steps on their blog. Consider contacting celebrity bloggers, political bloggers, medical bloggers, or bloggers who are not part of your reading community.
GOAL: Enlist 3 bloggers outside of your normal blog sphere to spread the word in other online communities.

Step 3. Help Pass the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act-By October 15th, publish a post on your blog supporting H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act. For maximum impact, title your post: "Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act."
GOAL: 1,000,000 Google results on October 15th when that term is searched for. Currently, Google only returns 20,400 pages - most of which have nothing to do with the bill.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Not Me Monday

I decided to participate in Not Me Monday this week. While MckMama (the originator of NMM) and I have never met IRL, I have been following her blog for a while now. She is currently the mother of three gorgeous MckBabies and carrying Stellan, another MckBaby for whom we are all praying.

I debated on posting my week NMMs on my other blog, but wouldn't it be tragic for others to feel uncomfortable by my possible speak of PL or IF? So, without further adieu, in true "Not Me Monday" fashion, I am posting things that I certainly did NOT do this week. :) *Gasp!* The thought of doing such things.

- I did not lounge around for two days this weekend doing nothing and trying to get over whatever this is I have.

- I did not leave serving pieces in my car over the weekend because I didn't feel like bringing them inside.

- I did not use curse words while watching the Cowboys lose by two stinkin' points.

- I did not poas three times this week, just hoping and praying that I might actually be pg.

- I did not tear up at the fact that I received one or two or three BFNs.

- I did not bring home papers to grade and never pull them out of my bag. Twice.

- I did not use sarcasm with my students this week.

- I did not almost choke up when I told my class that they are my children when they are with me each day.

- I did not tell one of my students that I work hard for the $1.67 I earn each day as his teacher.

- I did not B&M inside my head (while sneezing off said head) the entire time we were on an outdoor field trip catching insects.

- I did not bawl out loud while watching the season premiere of the last season of ER.

- I did not catch up on over 500 blog entries on my Google Reader in one day.

- I did not completely freak out when I tried to separate a chicken wing from a drum and blood spewed all over my kitchen.

- I did not tell DH he could eat all of the chicken I made.

- I did not drive my filthy car out in public when it so desperately needed to be washed.

- I did not delete several hours of shows recorded by DH on the DVR because he stole almost 100 hours, and I needed to record MY shows.

- I did not stare at my chart more than once, thinking that it might make me pg.

- I did not worry or have the constant fear of never having children. Okay, that one is a TOTAL LIE. Better quit now before I confuse myself.

Friday, September 26, 2008

My Rambling Quandry

Welcome to a possible rambling-more-than-ever kinda post. I've been tossing this around in my mind for a long time, so maybe you can help. Or listen. Or try to make sense of this. Or not.

In case you can't keep up, here's a Wordle that I made for a reference key.

See. Doesn't that help? :)

Okay . . . so if/when I do get pregnant again . . . I don't want to tell anyone. Of course I really do, but I know that I shouldn't. I can't. But I want to. Should I? Would that be smart? No, it would be stupid. But there are so many factors that would come into play. But I really shouldn't tell anyone. See my quandry now?

I feel a little like the girl who cried, "WOLF!" - three times in fact. It's gotten easier for me to tell people that I've lost another baby than it is to tell people that I'm pregnant. How crazy am I?

Pros to telling:
- people to pray for us
- no questions about us being pg
- no inquiring looks or glances
- not having to explain myself if I'm barfing/revolted by smells/tired/needing to leave work/nauseous/irritable (I won't say giddy because I doubt I'll ever get to that point.)

Cons to telling:
- lots of questions
- lots of concerns
- lots of looks from others
- everyone else waiting for the shoe to drop
- people thinking I'm crazy for telling
- having to untell (again)
- getting to have a secret
- telling a big surprise if for some reason it works out
- fear of getting more sympathy cards if it doesn't
- enjoying watching people wonder if I'm just getting fatter
- people knowing the odds are not on my side (again)
- other reasons that I know I can't think of right now

I honestly don't know who all actually reads this blog. I know some of you losers readers never leave comments. I love comments, though, and honestly rarely ever meet a stranger. My point is that if I/we decide NOT to tell people, then I definitely won't post some BFP announcement on this blog. (never have posted one here actually)

Will I tell the ladies on TTCAL/SAL because I know they'll support me & understand what I've experienced? Is that fair to my family? They won't know, but strangers my PL buds will? I have a couple of close confidants/IRL friends that know more than most, but is it fair to tell them when DH and I decide to tell noone and my family doesn't know? Should I tell my team at school, so they'll understand why I'm doing what I'm doing/acting how I'm acting? Is that fair? I'd have to tell my grandmother, Mary. She is slowly dying from cancer & while she's not dying today or tomorrow, we truly don't know how long she'll be with us. I know Mary is great at telling secrets, but I wouldn't want anyone else to know. Geez. See my quandry now?

In one way I'd want to shout it from the rooftops when my time (okay my FOURTH time - helllooooo) arrives. But how stupid is that? We all know these things (i.e. pregnancies) don't work out, right?!

On another note, when are pears in season? I just ate an entire can of chilled pears, and they were really good. Yummy, cold, grainy pears. Just wondering. Although I think I prefer the canned ones to the fresh ones. The fresh ones are often too crunchy IMO.

I need to go to the dentist. I have a handful of cavities and my teeth are starting to hurt. I should've had them filled over a year ago, but I was getting married and got KU. Anyway . . .

I also need glasses. Damn lasik doesn't stay around forever.

If I hadn't before, I think I just truly earned the title of RAMBLER now, huh? Fertile or not, I'm all over the damn place. Am I losing my mind, is this temporary insanity, or am I kinda-sorta normal and don't quite know it??? I know I'm not perfectly normal. I mean, come on . . . really people . . .

Comment away friends, family, strangers, lurkers, countrymen, countrywomen, cityfolk, migrant workers, whomever. I'm off to drink wine. And sleep. And blow my runny, sneezy nose. This allergy stuff is kicking my ass.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I Had A Dream

No, I'm not trying to be MLK, Jr. or anything, but I had a wonderful dream last night. I have very vivid dreams which are often strange. Last night's dream was not that way though. It was vivid but not strange at all.

I dreamed that DH and I had two blond-haired boys and were getting them ready for bathtime. We had their Batman jammies out on the bathroom counter. (DH is a huge fan of Batman.) We were all smiling and it felt so happy. Then one of the boys asked me what we were having. I told them they were going to have a baby sister, and I looked at my pg belly in the mirror. Then I stretched a small Batman onesie across my big stomach. I thought of how exciting it will be to add a daughter to our already beautiful family. Our sons were so excited and gorgeous and happy. We were just one happy family of four ready to become five.

Luckily I didn't wake up sad like I do after most babies/kids/family dreams, but I felt very happy, blessed, and content. I really want that now. And the sooner the better!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Show & Tell: Cameo

My great-grandmother and I were very close. Granny, as I called her, was my mom's grandmother, my grandmother's mom. She was truly the matriarch of the family and amazingly strong. My Granny raised four children, lost her husband too soon, survived the Great Depression, never learned to drive, buried two of her sons, gardened, cooked amazing food, and sewed anything made of fabric.

One thing Granny always bought me at Christmas was underwear. Now, as a young girl, it was terrible. Often mortified, I would open my package from Granny knowing what I would find within that pretty paper. As an adult, I would love to receive underwear every year. How I miss that gift!

As Granny laid in a hospital bed during her final days, I tried to stay by her side as much as possible. When I wasn't by her side, I was often sleeping on couch cushions on the floor of the waiting room. Granny was unable to speak, but she spoke so clearly through her eyes. I was able to put lotion on her dry skin, feed her broth, and smooth her hair - anything to make her comfortable. I also painted her nails. For years, I enjoyed doing that since her nails were always so smooth and pretty. I knew when Granny died that her fingernails needed to look pretty.

Granny held on for much longer than anyone thought she would. I was only 19, but I knew what lied ahead and called family to let them it was time to come say their goodbyes. Granny still held on, clinging to life.

Then it became time for me to head back to college. My summer was over, and I had to get back to school for sorority rush. As a rush counselor, I moved out of the sorority house and into the dorms. I could not be identified with my sorority, had no telephone, no contact with my sisters, so I could work with the girls preparing to be rushed. A few days into my new unfamiliar and somewhat uncomfortable surroundings, an early morning knock came to our dorm room's door.

I got out of bed, opened the door, and began to cry. I knew what it was. I was brought a phone, and I nervously called my mother. My Granny was gone. She died after we all left the hospital. I tried to figure out how to get home for the funeral. Then my mom recommended that I not come home. "You're busy, Granny is gone, there is nothing you can do now. Granny would want you to stay at school," my mom told me. For some reason that I will NEVER know to this day, I took my mother's advice and did not go home. In a way I still regret that decision, but my goodbyes with Granny came later.

One night, and I'm not sure when, Granny came to me in a dream. She always had a gravely, distinctive voice. In my dream, I was lying on my stomach asleep. Granny woke me up and said, "It's okay. I'm rubbing your back." And she was. She was patting my back as I slept. I know she was really there with me. And she still is. It's been over 20 years, and I know she still is with me. I pray to God and to Granny that she is rocking my babies in Heaven.

So, you're probably wondering why this blog entry is titled "Cameo." Well, here's why! When I was in high school, Granny started giving me "stuff". At the age of 16, I thought that most of it was crap. Except for one piece of jewelry she gave me. It was a cameo. Granny told me it was the last gift her husband gave her before he died. That stuck with me, and I kept the cameo with me. On my wedding day, I told my grandmother (Granny's only daughter) the story of the cameo, and asked her to pin it in my wedding dress. Granny was with me that day, just as she always is.

Sadly, my grandmother Mary will be joining her mother (my Granny) in the near future to help rock my babies. I know that they both will always be with me, and it brings me comfort to know that I will have so much love coming from above.

For more Show & Tell, check out Mel's list of participants for this week.

Friday, September 19, 2008


Yesterday. Ugh. It was more frustrating than saddening.

Everywhere I turned I seemed to see u/s pics. I didn't get home until 9ish, but wherever I was, there was a TV on that had u/s being shown. WTH? I swear I saw at least three. I don't remember where (because I was at school for about 12 hours), but they were there. I didn't imagine it.

I just want the u/s I see to be mine. Oh, and for it to be my u/s that shows a baby. And healthy baby. You'd think I was asking for the world, huh???

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Do you use Google Reader?

This is on both of my blogs, so if you read it twice . . . thanks for reading both of my blogs. :)

If you do use Google Reader, let me know so we can share items! (

If you don't use Google Reader, you should!

#1 - Google Reader is a great way to keep up with all of your blog reading. There's no way I could click on every blog link I have now.

#2 - You can keep all of your blogs organized in whatever fashion you like. I have categories for cooking, personal, hobbies, shopping, etc.

# 3 - If you use GR, set it up with others you know so you can share blogs you like. I've learned about new blogs, funny stuff, recipes, and shopping deals through some of my peeps that are my GR friends.

#4 - Subscribe to new blogs using the Google search tool in Reader. Type in a subject and see what is suggested. You can always unsubscribe to blogs if you like.

#5 - Google Reader works for all blogs/feeds!

And no, I don't get paid for this PSA. I just like GR that much.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Show & Tell: My Yearbook Pictures

For today's Show & Tell, I provide some entertainment for you - completely at my expense! A friend of mine introduced me to a great website called Yearbook Yourself. I've needed some cheap entertainment lately, so it's great!

Since I had a car accident just before my senior year of high school, I didn't have senior pictures taken. The one that appeared in the yearbook was odd because I had a strip of hair missing from where the stitches in my head had been recently removed.

So, in order to redeem my senior picture (okay, really it was to ridiculously entertain myself) here I am from 1952 to 1992:

And, yes, I know the second to the last one looks like it could be a real one of me from college. :)

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Show & Tell: Just Look at Us

For today's Show & Tell, I have to show you a couple of photos of DH & I as children. I surprised my husband at our wedding with a running slide show that included lots of photos I had and others I got from his Dad.

DH in the photo I lovingly call "The Tank." I desperately hope to have a tank baby just like this!

An (obviously) old photo of me that I removed from an oval frame. Yep, still have the damned curly hair.

See why we need to have some babies?! How cute would they be????? Babies with blonde, curly hair & big, blue eyes . . . gotta have some. And SOON!

I've done a little upkeep on this pathetic little blog. Since I was sick of looking at my ugly blog header, I made a new one on Scrapblog! (If you're using Google Reader, you'll have to painstakingly click to open my blog and see the new header.) If you haven't checked out Scrapblog, try it. It's almost addicting as scrapbooking to me. My header still needs some polishing, but I think it looks much better than the old one.

Thursday, September 4, 2008


AF reared her ugly, slut-faced head yesterday. Hope you weren't waiting for a picture of a NON-dud FRER with a line.

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