Nothing to Report

Man, this blog is getting repetitive.  TTC, AF, rinse, repeat.  That red-headed slut showed again today, and I'm not surprised.  Between my broken out skin, spotting for three days, my little allergy "incident" and our timing, I didn't think we'd be able to conceive this cycle anyway.  So . . . on to cycle #41.  I'm not disappointed or sad or frustrated or anything like that.  I'm just kinda done in a used to it way.

I attended the funeral of my BFF's brother last week, the sister of a friend was murdered over the weekend, school started with the kids on Monday, and I got in a wreck yesterday.  Needless to say, I am SPENT.  Sleep is a commodity, energy is tapping the reserves, and the wine is running out around here!

Even though it's been tough, I have a surprisingly good attitude.  I know things could be so much worse.  Here's to praying it doesn't get that way!

Infertility E-Class

Through my IF online board, I learned of an Infertility E-Class being offered.  Sounds like a great idea!  I've registered.  Won't you join too?

August 19th Day of Hope

http://august19thdayofhope.blogspot.com/

 

In Case There was a Chance

If there was a chance of me getting pregnant this cycle, I think that plan was thwarted on Wednesday.  Here's what happened.

Please Note

I've had TONS of comments left that are in an Asian language unknown by me.  If I can't read your comment in English, I will reject it.  Sorry, but I am not taking the chance of a virus infecting my computer.

Back from San Francisco

. . . and it's hotter than hell here ! I went from sleeping with the windows open and wearing a jacket during the day in California to walking into a wall of fire regardless of the hour here in Dallas. Oh well. Home is home and I'm glad to be back.  We really missed our pets and our own bed.

On the IF front, I feel like I don't know where we are anymore. Cycle 40 is underway, but I'm thinking I'm going to O wwaaayyyy earlier than usual.  We'll give it the "old college try" (how freaking stupid is that statement for an IFer?!) and see what happens.

I've been fighting with bouts of jealousy and despair.  I'm not jealous of women who are pregnant & have children, but I am extremely envious of their situations.  I find myself irritated with strangers and friends alike.  Jealous of anything from a pg belly to someone who already has a child that beats me in a game on FB to someone else complaining about their kids.  But then, I think of when we were in Monterey and I offered to take the photo of a couple who obviously were on their babymoon.  When she said, "Make sure you get the belly!" I didn't even kick her in the head or toss her into the ocean.  Hopefully the birds at least shit on her.  SEE????  It's all really pretty irrational.  I feel like I can't win for losing, so it's just something I need to deal with for now.

I also flounder from "forget this shit" to "I'm going to die if I don't have a baby."  Do I keep going and see if we get a baby, or do I go ahead & give up and take the childless route.  How whack is that?  I truly feel like a nutjob sometimes.  I'm sure I sound like one, too.  :)

I'll be updating our blog later with all sorts of vacation stuff, so feel free to drop over there if you so desire.  Until then, I'll continue being insane.  At least that's one thing on which we can all depend.