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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Do you hear that?

I know you're used to the sound of chirping crickets around here lately.  Honestly, I don't have much to say these days.  Don't worry, I'm not living in a hole underground somewhere or anything extra weird like that.  When you aren't TTC (it's kinda difficult to create a baby when you have no eggs) then a fertility/infertility blog becomes a place where there isn't much to say!  Add in a much-needed summer vacation, and our focus is elsewhere.

It's been hard - REALLY hard - and I'm still not completely through it all.  It's just a weird place to be in these days after being hard-core focused on procreating for over four years.  It's also difficult to be in a holding pattern dead standstill while everyone around you (fertile & non-fertile alike) continues to get pregnant, have babies, and repeat the process more than once while we wait for just ONE.  Just one tiny, little baby . . .

However, we are not finished in our quest for family.  Currently looking into adoption and/or donor eggs, there are definite options out there to help us become more than just a Mr. & Mrs. with two dogs.  I've been working through my grief and frustration in knowing that my DNA stops here.  There will be more counseling once we makes some decisions about where to go from here.  In one way, it's relieving.  In another, it's scary as hell.

I'm used to scary as hell, so we'll keep moving forward.  Don't be a stranger (i.e. say hi & let me know you were here!), and I'll be back to rambling away in no time!


NoVaIrish said...

I hope you know that I am always thinking of you. I know you and Todd have been working through so many things recently and you'll continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as you make those decisions and text the next steps.

Anonymous said...

Hey gal! Glad to hear you're not in a cave (I knew that though). :) I hope that some of the new options you are looking into will bring you the family that you so desire. Enjoy your time off and keep us posted!

The Writer Chic said...

I'm here. Literally, figuratively, always. xoxox

The Quarke Family said...

I'd been thinking of you, glad you wrote a little hello there to say you're sort of ok. Fingers crossed that things happen quickly for you, whatever route you go.

Marsha said...

You are always on my mind and in my prayers...daily. Xo

Mrs KS said...

I know that there is something amazing out there coming your way. I hope it finds you soon. :)

slaintexas said...

Just saying hi and letting you know I was 'checking in' on you via your blog. We traded a couple of adoption related e-mails and I was wondering how you are doing. Good luck with the next stage of your journey. I KNOW your child will find you. :-)

Maria (MKC101103) said...

I think of you often sweetie :)
I'll be here to cheer you on no matter what path you decide to take. And I know in the meantime you're giving all of your love to your two pups (and all of your time cleaning up their antics LOL!).

Joy said...

Hey, it's been a long time since I visited your blog, but I've thought of you often. I don't really blog anymore but I still try to keep updated with those who stuck by me on my journey to motherhood. I am just not the abandoning type. (the signature will say Joy because I have so much Joy now, but this is Deb from Waiting on Life, from years ago.)

Greiving the loss of your dna is not an easy thing to do and it still creeps up on me occasionally, but it does get better. I just know that my daughter will carry on what is most important to me, which is the true gifts I can give her, love, patience, understanding and a beauty that doesn't have anything to do with what she looks like.
Still thinking of you and wishing you the best.

Kacey said...

I'm here for you!!!

Stephanie said...

I'm here for you if you ever need a listening ear. ((hugs)) to you. and I'm glad to hear you didn't become an underground cave dweller. ;)

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