Blessed by Our Baby Girl

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Find Me

Follow on Bloglovin Instagram Follow Me on Pinterest Search & Win

Sunday, April 26, 2009

20 Things That Parents of Angels Wish You'd Remember

I can't remember who I "borrowed" this from (Katie?), but I ran across it in my inbox earlier, and I wanted to share it with all of you. If only we could wear this as a sandwich board each and every day, so people would know where we are coming from on a daily basis (and sometimes hourly or minute-to-minute basis).


20 Things That Parents of Angels Wish You'd Remember

1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is just because you never saw my baby doesn't mean he or she doesn't deserve your recognition.

2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn't think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby. The truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal.

3. I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once. The truth is if you do, it reassures me that you haven't forgotten and that you do care and understand.

4. I wish you wouldn't think that I don't want to talk about my baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk about him or her.

5. I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that you are thinking of me. The truth is that it tells me you care.

6. I wish you wouldn't think what has happened is one big bad memory for me. The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my baby, the dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes there are bad memories too, but please understand that it's not all like that.

7. I wish you wouldn't pretend that my baby never existed. The truth is we both know I had a baby growing inside me.

8. I wish you wouldn't judge me because I am not acting the way you think I should be. The truth is grief is a very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things differently.

9. I wish you wouldn't think if I have a good day I'm "over it" or if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is there is no "normal" way for me to act.

10. I wish you wouldn't stay away from me. The truth is losing my baby doesn't mean I'm contagious. By staying away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it is my fault.

11. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be "over and done with" in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The truth is it may get easier with time but I will never be "over" this.

12. I wish you wouldn't think that my baby wasn't really a baby and it was blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth is my baby was a human life. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and a face. My baby was a real person.

13. My baby's due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my baby died and the day I lost my baby are all important and sad days for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.

14. I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me. The truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to "normal" you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values. Please try to get to know the real me-maybe you'll still like me.

15. I wish you wouldn't tell me I could have another baby. The truth is I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace this baby. Babies aren't interchangeable. Besides, you do not know whether we have fertility problems too.

16. I wish you wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about my baby or being near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are.

17. I wish you wouldn't think that you'll keep away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.

18. I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is sometimes uncomfortable for me. The truth is I feel jealous.

19. I wish you wouldn't say that it's nature's way of telling me something was wrong with my baby. The truth is my baby was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is saying.

20. I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you say "next time things will be okay." The truth is how do you know? What will you say if it happens to me again?

4 comments:

Melissa said...

I found your blog from MckForum. I hope it is okay to leave a comment even though I don't really know you. I just wanted to thank you for writing this post. I have many friends who are parents of angels, and I feel a little guilty that I have my little girl here on earth. Your transparency will help me to understand better how my behavior affects our relationship. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

This brought tears to my eyes. So very, very true...
((HUGS)) to you.

Shanny said...

These are so sad and true =(

Maria (MKC101103) said...

So. very. true.

Get Swagbucks!

I use Swagbucks.com for all of my internet searches & redeem those bucks for Amazon gift cards. Great way to get things I want (babies not included) for nothing! :) Search & Win

Community

Help Out Each Day with Just One Click!

The Animal Rescue Site The Breast Cancer Site The Literacy Site
The Hunger Site The Child Health Site The Rainforest Site

Get Ready for Blogaversary Cake!

Get your own free Blogoversary button!

How Many Have Heard These Ramblings?

How Many Have Heard These Ramblings?