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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Remembering


I'm missing my three babies more than usual this week. Maybe it's because of today, maybe it's because of the unknown, or maybe it's because I cut my happy pill dosage in half, but it is for sure because I miss the babies I never got to meet or see or hold or smell or carry or watch grow up. It's so difficult to explain how you can miss someone you have never met. The only people who truly understand are the ladies who have experienced it. And for that - for all of you - I am thankful.

I don't understand why God has chosen this path for me. I don't like it, and I don't want it. However, here I am. All I can do is try to follow my path and pray that it leads to us having a baby of our own. As I say as a part of my daily prayer, "Lord, please heal my body so we can create a baby that I can carry to term and deliver healthy, so we can raise your little angel here on Earth for you."
I miss you and love you, my babies. I'm sorry that I failed you. I hope your Grannys and your Mary are rocking you for me now. I still wish that it was me though.

9 comments:

Marsha said...

sending lots of love and prayer your way!

Cheryl said...

praying for you today. It is hard to explain how you can miss someone that you never got to meet. It is something that you don't get unless you join this club. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Cheryl

Kiki said...

Thank you so much for illustrating that special day. I am a mother of 2 babies lost to miscarriage and I never knew of that day. I lit 2 candles yesterday and so did a circle of friends for me. Thank you again!

The Quarke Family said...

Please don't say you failed your babies, because you absolutely didn't. Sending much love your way.

Jen said...

Hugs & love to you.

Trish said...

Thinking of you and your angels..

Maria (MKC101103) said...

Hugs and love coming your way.

Jess said...

Darn you Kristen!! I keep tearing up reading your posts. I remember saying that prayer myself or something similar to it. Lots of love and hugs coming your way!!

jennifer said...

I wanted to share my blog with you. This was an article I wrote published last March in Boston's Lola Magazine. I am working on "one yr later" about year Mike and I are now..

Bryann Cameryn 8/24/10/23/08

http://www.xanga.com/JenSully9/715283707/item/

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