I know I've been MIA for a while now. Things have been busy and tough, and honestly, I'm the kind of person that just gets quiet & holes up when things aren't going well. In those time, I just don't have the energy to give to anyone or anything that isn't a top priority of life.
School has been a killer this month. New students, severe behavioral issues, additional meetings, extra paperwork, lots of documentation and reports, parenting concerns, grades, lots of parent conferences, tutoring during and after school, and the stress of upcoming testing is making things extra rough. This past two weeks of work have probably been the worst I've seen in a while. Twelve hour days are the norm this time of year. I haven't felt well on top of that, so sleep is a precious commodity that even surpasses food and quality time with DH right now. When I walked in the door after 7:00pm last Friday night, DH just looked at me and I said, "When I grow up, I want to be a secretary." I'm just praying for the end of April, so I can (hopefully) enjoy the downhill slide of the end of the year.
We did another IUI on January 11th, and things looked perfect. I took Femara again, did acupuncture, quit drinking caffeine, drank little to no wine, had "perfect" lining, good follicular development, had the trigger shot, DH's numbers were "perfect", and the IUI itself was perfect. Why would things not go perfectly well and we get pg?! I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time, and had such a positive feeling and attitude along the way. There were dreams of pregnancy and babies. I developed several symptoms and swore that I had to be pg.
Then AF showed. Right on time. I was devastated. Again. DH was sweet about it, and loved and hugged on me while I cried. Of course, the dog barfed up a silicone baking mat that he'd eaten right about then so life continued. :) No rest for the weary, huh?
Nobody knew that we did the IUI except for my work team and about five or six friends of mine that have recently gone through - or are right now going through - the journey of PL/IF. They have been a huge support for me along the way, after my crushing defeat, and moving ahead.
I have an appt. with Dr. Terrific on Wednesday and plan on skipping out on a staff meeting that day to go. We don't know where we'll go from here, but it will still be in the direction of a baby.