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Sunday, January 31, 2010


I know I've been MIA for a while now. Things have been busy and tough, and honestly, I'm the kind of person that just gets quiet & holes up when things aren't going well. In those time, I just don't have the energy to give to anyone or anything that isn't a top priority of life.

School has been a killer this month. New students, severe behavioral issues, additional meetings, extra paperwork, lots of documentation and reports, parenting concerns, grades, lots of parent conferences, tutoring during and after school, and the stress of upcoming testing is making things extra rough. This past two weeks of work have probably been the worst I've seen in a while. Twelve hour days are the norm this time of year. I haven't felt well on top of that, so sleep is a precious commodity that even surpasses food and quality time with DH right now. When I walked in the door after 7:00pm last Friday night, DH just looked at me and I said, "When I grow up, I want to be a secretary." I'm just praying for the end of April, so I can (hopefully) enjoy the downhill slide of the end of the year.

We did another IUI on January 11th, and things looked perfect. I took Femara again, did acupuncture, quit drinking caffeine, drank little to no wine, had "perfect" lining, good follicular development, had the trigger shot, DH's numbers were "perfect", and the IUI itself was perfect. Why would things not go perfectly well and we get pg?! I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time, and had such a positive feeling and attitude along the way. There were dreams of pregnancy and babies. I developed several symptoms and swore that I had to be pg.

Then AF showed. Right on time. I was devastated. Again. DH was sweet about it, and loved and hugged on me while I cried. Of course, the dog barfed up a silicone baking mat that he'd eaten right about then so life continued. :) No rest for the weary, huh?

Nobody knew that we did the IUI except for my work team and about five or six friends of mine that have recently gone through - or are right now going through - the journey of PL/IF. They have been a huge support for me along the way, after my crushing defeat, and moving ahead.

I have an appt. with Dr. Terrific on Wednesday and plan on skipping out on a staff meeting that day to go. We don't know where we'll go from here, but it will still be in the direction of a baby.


The Writer Chic said...

I'm honored to be one of the few walking this long road with you. I'm here every step of the way, hon, cheering you on. xoxoxo

A said...

I am so sorry about your last IUI. I will be praying for you as you look forward to your upcoming appt with the RE and figuring out where to go from here (hug)

Shanny said...

I'm so sorry =(
I have nothing to say that will make it any better because I know just how crushed you must feel. Hope you and Dr Terrific have a good appointment with some answers and plans. ((Hugs))

Hopeful34 said...

I'm so very sorry to hear your iui didn't work. I did 6 of them to no avail so i know how you feel. I am hoping the next one works for you!!

Shannon said...

Im sorry about your last IUI (((hugs))) I hope your appt with Doctor T goes good and you can report back with your next step. Im always thinking of you!

Anonymous said...

Hugs. This just sucks. I'm really pissed. you would be a f*cking awesome mom and so deserve it. IF sucks. You rock. Keep rockin it.

NoVaIrish said...

I totally understand about needing to be holed up sometimes. Just know that I am always going to be there, sitting just outside of the hole when you need me.

((huge hugs)) I'll be sending lots of thoughts of prayers your way on Wednesday.

Lauren said...

I'm so sorry about your last IUI. I've been keeping you in my prayers and I really hope that things go well with Dr. T at your appointment. You deserve it.

Kelli said...

I'm so sad to hear the IUI didn't go well. Thinking of you and hoping the appointment this week goes well. (irishmama13)

Kacey said...

I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for the direction you should take next. You are so strong! They say a mother's love is so strong it would jump in front of a moving train for their child. Your love for your child is already showing this kind of strength.

Marsha said...

loving and praying for you!

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