"Here's the answer."
I haven't heard that in this whole journey. However, I heard it for the first time today. Not only did I hear the answer, I saw it with my own eyes.
Today's appointment with Dr. Super becomes a long story, but I'll give some of the basics now and follow up with details later. Hope that is acceptable to some of the
1. The fear and apprehension I had about today's appointment - mainly the hysteroscopy - was (as always) worse than the actual procedure itself. Granted, a foot-long, metal pole-thing that shoots saline inside of your bum ute and takes video isn't fun, but I expected worse. (For the record, I took photos of said scary pole thing.)
2. The answer? Adhesions - scar tissue - is taking over 1/4 of my uterine cavity. The fundus of my uterus is completely blocked. Surgery will be needed (yuck), but it has to be done.
3. My AMH results will be back in a few days. I hope and pray, pray, pray that it's normal.
4. If my AMH is normal, there is a strong possibility that we could actually conceive a baby on our own without ART. Amazing, hope-inspiring, and nerve-racking.
5. I'm totally pissed off at Dr. Gloom & Doom. His stupid ass should have caught this. He did the SAME EXACT procedure I had today with me under anesthesia and cost me a shitton of dollars and lots of valuable time. There is absolutely no reason he should have missed it. Even I noticed the scar tissue, and I'm not a licensed medical professional. A few people have already recommended that I pursue legal action against this S.O.B., but I prefer to direct my energy elsewhere.
I'll have more details coming about the appointment itself, what I saw during the procedure, the pictures that were drawn by Dr. Super, causes, follow up, what surgery would entail & more.
The saga continues . . .
PS: There have been several people that are IRL friends, internet friends, online/board friends, readers, and others who have sent me love and well-wishes lately. Thank you. I've been in a real reflective place about all of "this" lately & haven't responded to many of you who have reached out, but please know it hasn't gone unnoticed and that I love you and appreciate you.