Twas the Night Before Home Study

Twas the night before home study,
And all through the house

Not a creature was stirring
Especially my spouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that come next year another would be there.

The dogs were all snoring on couches and beds
While visions of destroying throw pillows danced in their heads.

With Pa looking at every single page of every damn catalog he could possibly find and his office a fire hazardous freaking disaster and his clean laundry on the dining room table and boxes out for no reason and stuff all over the kids' bathroom and papers everywhere and his shoes on the bed and piles of stuff all over and his paperwork not copied and ready I'm sure and . . . I digress . . .

With Pa hanging out and I very stressed,
There's no time for sleep, I'll just need to stay dressed.

When out from the house did not arise any clatter
Other than me running 'round sighing like nothing was the matter.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
but a half-dressed husband getting himself a beer.

(Fine, it was a piece of chocolate & a nightcap not beer
I'm trying real hard to be poetic here.)

Away through the house I ran like a flash
Cleaning like a mad woman on a twenty-mile dash.

I sighed more and mumbled as I called him a name
Wishing he wasn't a male and driving me insane.

The house doesn't have to be perfect but give me a break
I'm going to take all his crap and burn it at the stake.

If xanax does the trick and helps me sleep like the dead
I can clean even more in the morning and not lose my damn head.

For tomorrow comes a home study with interviews out the ass
I just hope everything goes smoothly and that we pass.

And I heard myself exclaim as I lay down for the night,
"Clean yourself, house, please clean yourself right!"