So when we do get pregnant again (notice NO IFs there), will we tell people? Part of me says, "YES!" and part of me says, "NO WAY!" My DH has always been of the mindset to keep it quiet for a while. I've had a hard time doing that but have also learned through experience it's not such a bad thing.
Some people were excited with our first pg, but not like I thought they'd be since we got pg on our honeymoon with our first bfp only two weeks after our wedding date. Our second one, the few people that did know were nervous while also trying to be hopeful. The third pg, not many people even knew about because it happened so fast. There are many people in my immediate circle of family, friends, and colleagues that have no idea I've lost more than one baby.
I'm tired of being the one who not only lets people know we're pregnant but let's them know when we're not. I've spent the past year doing that. I'm tired of being the person who constantly updates people with the bad news in her life. I'm tired of people looking at me dumbfounded because they don't know what to say - again. I'm tired of people knowing that I'm on pins & needles waiting for the axe to fall. So far it always has, so why wouldn't it again? I just feel like I've become "that person" who people avoid so they don't have to always hear sad stories and bad news.
The other part of me thinks of how much fun it would be to wait until after we've made it through the first tri. I mean not telling ANYONE. It would be a fun little secret just between the two of us. A fun little secret that would be ours - our baby. We could surprise people and actually show them pictures of our BABY (not just a speck on an u/s). How fun would that be? I even have some fun ideas on how to do it.
However, people often figure out pregnancy. Anyone who knows me knows that I like to get my drink on. Not drinking at happy hour is a definite bust for me. Yeah, I know all the ways to get around not drinking, but how long would that fly? How would I be able to hide m/s - especially as a teacher? What if I have a medical question and need to call my mom, the nurse? What if I'm scared and need my sister? And what if, God forbid, we lost another one? Where would that awesome support system of mine be?
So, the great debate continues . . . but only inside my head and on this blog for now. Hopefully I'll have the opportunity to exercise the "to tell or not to tell" decision soon.