If you give kekis a chip . . .

I posted this on the Infertility board I frequent tonight:

If you give kekis a chip, she'll want some homemade guac to go with it.
If you give her some guac, she'll want some wine.
If you give her some wine, she'll want some pineapple for implantation.
If you give her some pineapple, she'll want some pita chips.
If you give her some pita chips, she'll want some hummus.
If you give her some hummus, she'll get a tummy ache.
If she gets a tummy ache, she'll want some ice cream.
If she eats some ice cream and her tummy ache isn't gone, she'll hope she's pg (at 3dpiui - ha!).

Welcome to the snackingest night lately and the longest 2ww EVER.

Burnin' Down the House

I was getting hungry yesterday and needed a quick snack before meeting friends. Since we had lots of hummus (yum!), I cut up some pita bread & tossed it in the toaster oven to toast. For an hour.

Yep, I totally forgot about my snack baking and didn't figure it out until I was leaving to meet my friends. The pita was black - as in so burned that it wouldn't even absorb water when I put them in the sink.

Think I'll blame it on early pregnancy brain. :)

Summary of a Pep Rally

IUI #3 went well. I've been very crampy, bloated, and tired, and honestly too tired to ramble in much detail. Here are some "highlights" because you know a visit to Dr. Terrific is almost like a trip to an freaking amusement park.

- My mom came over Thursday night and shot me up with the trigger. She showed DH how to do it in case we get stuck having to do IM injections again.

- While getting dressed yesterday morning, I was carrying DHs goods in between my breasts to keep them warm. (as you already know) Thankfully before DH left, I remembered that I had NO cash & asked to borrow a buck from DH to pay for parking. DH slipped the dollar into the hip of my pants as if I were a stripper. I told him that I just made poster woman of infertility & we should really take a pic. Hear me roar. Again.

- Didn't get a specimen jar from the doc's office when we scheduled the IUI, so I used a specimen cup (provided by my mom which DH llooovveedddd) that I covered with saran wrap. Yep, we're the WT of the ARTS lab. Go us!
- Recognized by the ARTS lab lady & another receptionist at Dr. T's this morning. I've spent way too much time with these people.
- I inquired about a frequent flyer program at the ARTS lab. No such luck. Damn.
- DH's numbers were perfect. Again. Hopefully one - just ONE - of those 28 million sperm with awesome motility and morphology hits the target.
- BP was way high when I arrived for the IUI, so Nurse A and I relaxed and got it down.
- I was really pretty relaxed. I put on my fancy paper skirt, kicked back with one leg hanging on a stirrup, and waited for Dr. T.
- As he entered, I told him that I had pep rally music. I'm not kidding you. I played this song during the IUI. Dr. T told me to put my phone on my uterus just in case. :) Pep Rally music during an IUI was a first for both of us.

- I held two good luck charms during my IUI. One was a penguin toy and the other a baby I pulled from a King Cake a few weeks ago. Yes, playing music and holding toys will mean that I get pg this time. Kinda creepy & weird, huh? The photo I took of them is rotated correctly, but the lovely Blogger obviously wants that changed.

- Dr. T said that I deserve to be a mother. He's right.
- As I waited "in elevation" after the IUI, I listened to my inspirational & relaxing music. I started with What Faith Can Do, Need You Now, The Great Adventure, and something else I can't remember. As I listened to the first song, the tears began to flow & I couldn't stop them for a while.
- Luckily I got myself together before Dr. T came in to check on me. When he asked if knew how long I'd been in there, I said, "Three songs." He told me to wait five more minutes, then I could get up.
- No need for CD21 b/w. My p4 last cycle was 18.6. I'm sure had I been pg it be much lower, huh? :/

Ssoooo . . . . . as of today, I am 2 weeks and 2 days pregnant. Our imaginary baby is due October 29. Pray for it and us. Here we go.

Hitting the Road: IF Style

Getting ready to drive down the highway . . . with a cup of jizz in between my boobs. I am woman. Hear me roar.


Note: DH would kill me before he died if he actually read this blog. :)

Uuuhhhhh . . .

My appointment with Dr. Terrific was this afternoon. I made it early to my appointment despite rainy-day, late-afternoon traffic. I was immediately recognized by the receptionist, which let me know I've been there a lot lately. Nurse Amazing came to get me and immediately put me on the scale. Being so disgusted by my weight anymore, I hopped on the scale - jacket, shoes & all. I'm surprised that I didn't hold my purse, too. Somehow - and I don't know how - I've lost five pounds since my IUI and a total of nine pounds since November or December. You certainly can't tell by looking at my fat ass, but it made me happy. Nurse Excellent walked by to say hello and actually saw me smiling in the office for a change.

But that's not what you really want to know, is it? Well, despite the positive scale results, my blood pressure was up and Nurse A didn't like it. I told her that I was surprised that it wasn't much higher with the two weeks at work I've just survived. (Like stroke-worthy two weeks.) So, Nurse A took my bp again a few minutes later, and it was up even a couple of more points. We quit at that point. Dr. T walked by and I made some kind of remark (possibly, maybe a smart-ass remark) to which he replied, "You don't want to be seen today, do you?" We then laughed after he said that I have the same lack of filter that he does, and I in return told him I wasn't that way until I became his patient. :)

But you don't care about all of that either, do you? I got changed into my paper skirt, and thought that manufacturers need to make these in resuable form. I mean, I go through so many that I could just have my own locker in the office. Dr. T came in and told me about his 92 year old patient with a flatulence problem. (Thank God that wasn't me.) Cynically, I told him about my bum ute, whined my frustrations, & complained about this being my 34th or 35th cycle as the condom-laden dildo cam began its way towards my girly bits.

Dr. Terrific and I chatted while he checked out my bum ute where we suprisingly found a lovely 10.5mm lining (which is good). I possibly, maybe said something sarcastic along the lines of, "Oh goody. I have a nice lining." He scoffed and continued on the dildo cam journey. We quickly came upon some dark spots on my left ovary. Two were very, very small. Above those little crappers was a nice large one. Yep, a 16mm follie on CD13 darkened the fuzzy screen (which is also good).

So . . . short story made long . . . trigger tomorrow and IUI on Friday. ACK! My WTH appointment turned into me hopping on the roller coaster again. So far, things are looking positive though. My forever favorite substitute is available to take my class on Friday, and with some crazy luck my trigger was paid for by insurance, costing me only $10. Woot!

Anyone else that wants to hop on this next freaking coaster ride, you better harness in tight. If the life and times of my jacked-up body continue, this will be yet another bumpy ride.

MIA

I know I've been MIA for a while now. Things have been busy and tough, and honestly, I'm the kind of person that just gets quiet & holes up when things aren't going well. In those time, I just don't have the energy to give to anyone or anything that isn't a top priority of life.

School has been a killer this month. New students, severe behavioral issues, additional meetings, extra paperwork, lots of documentation and reports, parenting concerns, grades, lots of parent conferences, tutoring during and after school, and the stress of upcoming testing is making things extra rough. This past two weeks of work have probably been the worst I've seen in a while. Twelve hour days are the norm this time of year. I haven't felt well on top of that, so sleep is a precious commodity that even surpasses food and quality time with DH right now. When I walked in the door after 7:00pm last Friday night, DH just looked at me and I said, "When I grow up, I want to be a secretary." I'm just praying for the end of April, so I can (hopefully) enjoy the downhill slide of the end of the year.

We did another IUI on January 11th, and things looked perfect. I took Femara again, did acupuncture, quit drinking caffeine, drank little to no wine, had "perfect" lining, good follicular development, had the trigger shot, DH's numbers were "perfect", and the IUI itself was perfect. Why would things not go perfectly well and we get pg?! I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time, and had such a positive feeling and attitude along the way. There were dreams of pregnancy and babies. I developed several symptoms and swore that I had to be pg.

Then AF showed. Right on time. I was devastated. Again. DH was sweet about it, and loved and hugged on me while I cried. Of course, the dog barfed up a silicone baking mat that he'd eaten right about then so life continued. :) No rest for the weary, huh?

Nobody knew that we did the IUI except for my work team and about five or six friends of mine that have recently gone through - or are right now going through - the journey of PL/IF. They have been a huge support for me along the way, after my crushing defeat, and moving ahead.

I have an appt. with Dr. Terrific on Wednesday and plan on skipping out on a staff meeting that day to go. We don't know where we'll go from here, but it will still be in the direction of a baby.

Another Dream

I had another baby-related dream Tuesday night, and it felt so real. It's stuck with me, and I keep reliving it in my head.

In the dream, I had just given birth to a beautiful little girl. She was swaddled in a blanket and handed to me. I was crying tears of joy & amazement. I never saw her face in the dream, but she had such a pretty, round, & tiny little head. I kissed her on the top of that gorgeous head and said out loud, "For this child I have prayed." Then I woke up.

It happened and was over that quickly. Every time I think of it now (I can still see her beautiful head), I tear up or cry. It was that real of a dream, and now I want my precious little girl.

BFP Dream

Last night I had a dream that I got a BFP. It must have been a futuristic dream because you could scroll through the window of the digital hpt for all sorts of information! I remember seeing computer like info (including musical notes and my camera settings) on the window of the stick.

Hope it doesn't mean I'll have a BFP in the year 2110 or something. That would suck because I'd be dead.

Oh, to Not Know

"Oh . . . I can give you a couple of tips on how to get pregnant." Yep, that's what I heard last night. Granted it was from someone who didn't know me . . . didn't know us . . . didn't know our situation . . . and didn't know a thing about IF. Crazy enough, it didn't rub me the wrong way like it could/would/should have.

"Oh . . . if it were just that easy." That's the only response I had. She quickly figured out that it was already past time to STFU. She then asked if we had seen a doctor, were taking meds, going through stuff.

I'm okay if people ask questions. I'm not really forthcoming in providing unsolicited details about the fact that my uterus used to kill babies before I couldn't get pg anymore. Providing details that answered questions without making anyone uncomfortable, I went through the typical explanation that covers what anyone who doesn't know needs to know.

And that was that. It wasn't too bad for either of us - especially me.

Q&A: For the Sake of a Blog Post

Simply because I need to update this blog, and simply because I am busy and have "blogger's block" . . . ask the Rambler. You can ask me anything you like about anything you like. Your questions will give me something to write. Thanks in advance for your assistance.

ANNNNDDDDD -- GO!