"Big, Ugly Uterus"

"Big, Ugly Uterus.  You did great, sweet girl."  That's all I remember Dr. T saying to me in recovery.

After a yucky night after questionable late-afternoon sushi, DH and I woke up EARLY and showed up at the hospital way before the butt-crack of dawn.  I was ready - physically, mentally, and emotionally.  After checking in with the front desk, I literally, financially, and figuratively signed my life away.  Lots of adverbs here.  Guess it was a adverbial kind of day.

Not long after arriving, I was taken into pre-op.  The highlight of my day?  PIAC.  Seriously??!?  A pregnancy test?!  Thank you for having the infertile pee one last proverbial pee before ripping out all possibilities of reproduction.  Don't think I wouldn't bring it up with Dr. T!  I had to shake my head, laugh, and give her enough drops to dip the stick.  The nurse was on her own for that one!

I confirmed that I am who I am and have a birthday that I have.  Confirmed I was having a complete laparoscopic supracervical hysterectomy which would be done through two abdominal incisions and one in through navel.  (here's a video of the surgery)  The surgery removed my uterus, tubes, and ovaries while leaving my cervix intact.  I stripped down and changed into the awesome Bair Paws gown that hooks up to a reverse vacuum tube which blows warm or cool air into my gown.  I LOVE that thing!  It also comes with cute matching socks.  It's the little things, huh?  Compression instruments were placed on my legs, so I got a little calf massage before we began.  IV was placed.  They asked about previous surgeries, medications, made sure I didn't have anything removable in my body, and everything else.  At that time, I was wishing I would've worn a sandwich board portraying my Rain Man Serious Injury List.  While I waited, I flipped through a PBK catalog DH gave me and commented how I liked some of their stuff and how it was overpriced.  Made some nursery notes though because I really like their floor rugs.  How cool is it that I can have a hysterectomy and baby shop in the same day?  Adoption rocks.  :)

Dr. T came into pre-op and we went over random surgery stuff. (Yes, I mentioned the piac.  Protocol.  Whatever.)  The anesthesiologist came in and gave me the good stuff.  Then into the OR.  I was a tad loopy but looked around, seeing the large instruments that would be jabbed into my body.  Dr. T & the drug man were talking, the nurses were talking.  Soon after the drug man (always my favorite dude of the day) placed a mask on my face and told me by the fourth breath I'd be asleep.  And I was.  However, I do remember at some point before fading away that Dr. T was standing to my side, one hand on my shoulder and one near my hip maybe.  I truly think he was praying over me.  While I plan to ask him about it, and whether it happened or not, it gave me comfort and I'm thankful for it.

A couple of hours later, Dr. T met with DH.  He explained things and provided party pics.  Wanna see 'em?  They're sssoooooo gross!  My mom, the nurse, saw them and said, "That is not what those things are supposed to look like!"   No shit since that's what they felt like!  I recovered in post-op fairly well and fairly quickly, DH bringing me home by about 3:00pm yesterday.  I am VERY sore, VERY bloated, and VERY dry.  My "stab" wounds from the laparascopic portion of the surgery are icky and extremely bruised.  I truly feel like I've been in a knife fight.  Not sure if I won or lost but pills and a fairly new nasal spray for pain are helping some.

Dr. T called late yesterday afternoon & I missed his call.  Since he's so awesome, he told me to call him back on his cell and we were able to catch up.  My uterus was twice the size it should have been.  The adenomyosis and fibroids were severe enough that my uterus was basically unable to drain itself, causing the terrible periods of late.  My left ovary was embedded into my left pelvic wall and had some endo surrounding it.  Tubes looked fine, but what good were they when everything else was crap?

Now I recover.  I took the week off work and made sub plans for next week if I need them.  Last night brought visits from my sister, niece, and Mom; there is babysitting from my sister today; and so far lots of calls from other family and friends.  I feel like I'm in a good place.  IF didn't really beat me because I tore it out of the battle before it had the chance.  DH and I are going to be parents.  And THAT is what matters!

Thanks for being here for the ride.  Your comments, emails, prayers, thoughts, and rain dances mean so much to me.  Yes, I write for me but hearing from you makes it even more worthwhile.  No telling what the life will bring from here.  This blog will continue - whether you like it or not.  ;)  It gives me an outlet for my thoughts and feelings while keeping people in the loop of my world.  Guess I need a new blog look though.  I may work on it some this week or find someone who'd like to do it for free.  My focus will continue to help others in the battle of MC/RPL/IF while soon sharing my future family with you.  Yes, I will ramble on . . . and on . . . and on . . .

Until then, more pain drugs and a new laugh for DH (and yes I see the typo):