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Sunday, January 8, 2012

Going Out with A Bang

This post is not for the faint of heart or sensitive of ears.

In true "I'm a bitchy, bum ute" fashion, she's going out with a bang.  True vengeance as if she knows her fate next week.  My final period.  Ever.  And it's a mutherfucker.

At the risk of grossing out half the world (ha! like I've ever cared), here's my rendition of why I don't want to do this I'm not doing this anymore:
My periods have become ridiculous.  I am known for having a high tolerance of pain (even on pain meds & anesthesia), but the cramps now double me over at the drop of a hat.  Two hours is all it takes to flood a super-plus tampon, pantiliner, panties, and a pair of jeans while leaving prints of where I sit.  The clots are disgusting.  The GI issues (nausea, lack of appetite, increase of appetite, increased urination, diarrhea, and even hemorrhoids) are stupid too.  And did I tell you that this is my THIRD period like this in SIX WEEKS?  Yeah.  Stupid, I tell ya.

Get this mean, bloody bitch out of me.  Now.

I'm a goner.

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