I am the wounded animal, lying still in the field. I don't want to seem wounded, so I appear very strong and fearless. Hoping not to die, I see them circling. They are the vultures, and they spread their wings and hover around me in the air.
Surprisingly, they are not trying to kill me. They simply watch me because they do not want me for dinner. The vultures soar in circles above me, watching me suffer in silence while carefully protecting myself. Tears sometimes trickle down my cheek, but I try not to let them see it. The hunters cannot see the wounds of their prey, for they are all inside of me.
The vultures are everywhere - everywhere you look, everywhere you go, everywhere you turn. They are in simple disguises, dressed as beautiful and friendly women . . . friends, strangers, and relatives. They have children or are pregnant or are having other successes while TTC while we lie and suffer, exercising every ounce of self-preservation we can muster. If you are a wounded animal lying still in the field of TTC, PL, and IF, you see them too.
And we continue to lie still in the field, trying to guard our wounds, bleeding from the inside, hiding our tears, holding back our fears, not willing to come out and fight for fear of losing the battle again.