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Sunday, December 14, 2008

I Can Feel It

But I only feel it slipping away.
You know what it is.
You might have it.
You might not.
You might have lost it.
You might have found it again.
I've had it for a while.
A long while, in fact.
But now I feel it slipping away.
And it hurts.
I've held tight to it for so long.
Even when it's been ripped from me.
Ripped from me time and time again.
I've always found more to hold.
I've always fought hard to keep just a little of it.
But now . . .
I'm having a hard time finding it.
I just don't feel it right now like I have before.
Even in the dark times.
My grip has weakened.
It's slipping away.
So far away that I don't know if I can find it again.

It's that thing called hope.
It's slipping away quickly.
And I don't know if I can get it back.


Carla said...

Kristin, I'm so sorry. I wish there was something more I cold do for you. You're so strong to be able to contain all of this frustration. Hoping and praying for things to turn better. *Hugs* and prayers!

Ashly said...

Don't Do it! Cling to it and hang on. It's hard but we have to do it. We lost our 39 week baby in Sept. and it's so hard to be hopeful. Some days are better than others. Whatever you do, don't lose hope!

Monica @ Writer Chic said...

Kristin, I jsut read Friday's update. I'm so, so sad for you, sweetie. I wish there was some way I could ease the hurt a little. =(

Jill said...

Kristen-I'm so sorry for the rough time you are going through. But, without hope, what else is there? I've been in many low places over the 2-year course of our infertility, but I've never given up every shred of hope I've ever had. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))

babydust81 said...

Hi dear...

I am so sorry about how you are feeling right now. hope I can offer you more than just words. I understand how you feels. I know that feeling of slowly losing the grip on the thing called "Hope and Faith".

But without "Hope and Faith" what else is there for us. Pls be strong dear. I know it is easier said than done. There are days I feel the same way like you do. But that is it... It is just ONE of those days. I believe this is just one of those days.

I am praying and hoping that things will take a turn for the better for you.

WiseGuy said...

I am so sorry. I can't find any "hey ya" words for this. You know, after all, whatever that we have left in us is possibly hope - however distant it may be. Don't give it up! Allow yourself to feel the depths of sadness, but remember, that you have to pick up the broken pieces and just walk on! Please do walk on!

Jenn said...

Tears. I understand and feel for you because I KNOW where you're coming from. (((hugs))) (because I need one too!)

ERG said...

It will find its way back to you, and when it does grab tight and don't let go! I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I have been feeling this way lately too, but I just can't see myself giving up the battle. Take care sweetie! You will be in my prayers.

Maria (MKC101103) said...

We're all coming together and hanging on to that hope with you.

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