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Saturday, December 20, 2008

What Will They Miss?

For this week's Show & Tell, I have to share a photo and some feelings it surfaced in me.

Recently, I came across this photo of all of the cousins (but the three youngest) on my Dad's side of the family. I see it often since I have it on the hard drive of my computer. Seeing this picture reminds me of all of the memories I have with my cousins.

Memories on Grandma & Grandpa's farm in Oklahoma. Playing hide & seek in the wheat fields. Running around the barn and chasing the cows. Country breakfasts of biscuits, sausage, and gravy. Playing free as children, running throughout that safe, small town. Riding the tractors. Going to the soda fountain shop "in town". Visiting Grandpa in the hospital. Visiting the family in California. Family golf tournaments. Family weddings. Shoot, we even had a good time gathering for family funerals. There are so many more memories than just those.

However, seeing the photo this time it made me think of something completely different than usual. I thought of our (hopefully) future children. What will they miss? Will they be able to play with their cousins? My sisters' children range in age from 4 to 21 years old. They will probably be my kids' babysitters. There will be too much of an age difference to be "playmates" like we all were (and still are!). My brother's children are 1 1/2 and 5 1/2, so maybe they'll be close. DH's cousin's kids range in age from 2 - 8, so maybe they can play some.

I just hope that going through what we have so far to create our own family will offer our children the opportunity to have closeness within their extended family. Knowing what blessings I've found in my extended family, it would truly be sad if they did not. Yes, they would be missing out on a great part of what family means to me.


Another Dreamer said...

I've never been really close to my cousins... I have over 100 though, lol. I'm not kidding...

I do however wonder the same thing. I was hoping my children would one day play with my beloved nieces and nephews... But they're all getting older and older, and I stay as infertile as ever... (*sigh*)

I hope one day soon you'll have your little one, and that they can bond with your nieces and nephews.

G I N A L O U said...

I know exactly how you feel...

Queenie. . . said...

I'm right there with you on this one...but I like to think that even though our kids won't have the SAME experiences we had, they will have other, rich experiences, nonetheless.

Happy holidays!

Cassandra said...

The age span of my cousins is huge -- on one side, the newest first cousin is 1 (his dad is about 50, 2nd time around), and the oldest is in her late 30s. On the other side, I actually have no idea what the range is because I haven't even met most of those cousins, but since my mom's oldest brother is 20 years older than she is, I know it's very wide. I'm relatively close to some who are vaguely around my age, and not close at all (don't even know their names!) of others. Definitely harder to be close to someone who's nowhere near your age.

For me, though, I may have the opposite problem -- we're taking so long to have kids that DH's younger sibs may start to catch up, even though the youngest is almost 20 years younger than he is! It will be great (for everyone) if all of the kids are around the same age, but it will suck big time (for me) if one of the younger siblings has a kid before we do.

Cara said...

I hear you. As a child at family gatherings, and I have a very small family, I was the older "babysitter" kid. I'm an only and my three cousins are 12 years younger than me.

Now, we get together - me with a husband and kids and them with college buddies, girlfriends, and totally rockin somthing-or-other that I've never seen before.

Regardless, I LOVE Them. They are so special even if we are from different generations.

battynurse said...

I kind of know what you mean too. I had many cousins I was pretty close to growing up but not at all close to now. It's sort of weird. Hopefully you will be able to cultivate a relationship or create new chosen family for your future children.

Stephanie said...

I know what you mean. I had a lot of cousins very close in age growing up too. We had so much fun together. My brother and sister both say they do not want any children. So I wonder if my children will have any cousins at all. I hope that they do, I would love for them to experience the same kind of fun that I did as a kid with my family.

Lucky said...

I'm 23 and my cousins range between the ages of 2 and 40. Even though we are all a lot older than the 2 year old, we absolutely adore him and we all go crazy over him! Plus, the older cousins have kids so he's the same ages as their kids so it all works out.

Hang in there and have a merry Christmas!

Sam said...

I know what you mean, I am 34 but my cousins range from 12 to 35 so there is a wide range!! But it usually works out well!

Merry Christmas!

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