I spent last night and continue today to waver between trying to have a little hope, being realistic, crying, and being really fucking pissed off. I told Mr. Rambler this morning that my goal for today was "to keep my attitude and mouth in check." For those of you who know me, you know this can be quite a daunting task.
There have been times during this whole suckyass journey that I've felt completely alone. I felt that nobody really knew what I was going through - especially my husband. Boy has he shared the brunt of a lot of this ridiculous mess. However, I wanted to share how wonderful my DH continues to be, and why I need to remember that.
Last night while I was shooting up (for probably no reason at all), DH came in to the bathroom and gave me a big hug. Of course, I started crying and told him that I was sorry. I feel like I'm just such a letdown since my body can't seem to help us make a baby. His response? "Don't even let ME be a reason you feel that way. We are fine and we are going to be fine."
I still feel like a big, baby-killing, non-baby making loser, but at least I have him to love me no matter what.